BEYONCE TO RELEASE 12 ALBUMS IN 2008

BEYONCE TO RELEASE 12 ALBUMS IN 2008
EXCLUSIVE NEWS ABOUT BEYONCE'S NEXT ALBUM!!!

We've just received EXCLUSIVE news about Worldwide. Worldwide is the third solo album by Beyonce. The album is slated for release on January 1, 2008. Beyonce has reportedly recorded over 100 songs, and those songs will be divided between 12 albums, and a new Beyonce album will be released each month in the year 2008 on the following dates:

January 1, 2008 - World Wide I (or WWI)
February 5, 2008 - World Wide II (WWII)
March 4, 2008 - World Wide III
April 8, 2008 - World Wide IV
May 6, 2008 - World Wide V
June 10, 2008 - World Wide VI
July 8, 2008 - World Wide VII
August 5, 2008 - World Wide VIII
September 9, 2008 - World Wide IX
October 7, 2008 - World Wide X
November 11, 2008 - World Wide XI
December 16, 2008 - World Wide XII

Beyonce will shoot a video for each song (300 videos in all, each song will be re-done in Spanish, and 50 will be re-shot in Swahili) And she will shoot a movie for each album starring as her alter-ego Sasha.

In keeping with the Worldwide Theme of the album Beyonce will visit 12 countries a month to promote the album. She is also having a special contest to give away free tickets to a concert. Starting in November, if you visit your local Kim's Korean Hair Care, if you find the OFFICIAL Beyonce Blonde lacefront wig in the store, you will win front-row tickets to her concert. We guarantee that this concert will be so hot, you may leave the show on FIRE!!!

Because Beyonce is such a kind and generous person, she will be visiting third world countries in Africa to pass out water, food, medical supplies, and slightly worn lacefronts and freakum dresses, because, as Beyonce says, "water and food are cool, but every now and then, when your country is poor and in the middle of a civil war, sometimes you have to go in the back of your closet and pull out that freakum dress."

Keeping with her tradition of giving new talent an opportunity, for the WorldWide World Tour 2008 Beyonce wants an all-gay band. That's right an all-gay band. She will be looking for the most talented and energetic gay male musicians to go out on the road with her. She needs the following musicians:

- 1 Drummer
-3 Tamborine Players
-2 Whistle Blowers
-1 Person to hold 2 flashlights, spin in a circle and, make the Siren Sound on Ring the Alarm.

She will be holding auditions in Atlanta-only. She figured that in Atlanta all she had to do was play "Get Me Bodied" on a crowded street and the all-gay band would form itself.

As with all of her other tours, Beyonce will be offering Gold Packagesfor her fans.

For the low price of $12,000, fans will be able to wave directly at Beyonce as she waves back at them from her tour bus. You will not be allowed to touch her or come near her, as we have discovered that some of you don't wear deodorant at these meet and greets. Also, no photos and videos will be taken at the concerts, as we have found that people post things on YouTube, even when Beyonce asks them not to. Go figure.

People who buy the Gold Package will also receive an EXCLUSIVE gift-bag which includes: a bag of Skittles, a bar of Irish Spring soap, 2 loose Newports, $300 worth unsold House of Dereon clothing, and 20 unsold copies of "Miss Kelly".

Fans will be able to pre-order all 12 albums on the following dates:
-Whatever day Janet's album comes out.
-Whatever day Mariah's album comes out.
-Whatever day Ashanti's album comes out.
Beyonce's not trying to compete or overshadow, it's merely a coincidence that her pre-order date falls on the same day as other singers' album releases.

A DVD-CD re-release will be done for each of the 12 albums, and DVDs will be sold from each of the 120 concerts that Beyonce will perform on tour.
So in all in 2008 Beyonce will release:
24 albums
12 movies
120 - DVDs

We will keep you posted about any updates that we recieve or you could just wait for official press releases or statements from Beyonce's publicist instead of using Wikipedia, blogs, or message boards as credible sources.


15 comments:

Ratchet-chan said...

this is still the best one... ROFL @ the "all-gay band" and forming it by playing "Get Me Bodied" in the streets of ATL...

Anonymous said...

THIS PART IS FUNNY:
Fans will be able to pre-order all 12 albums on the following dates:
-Whatever day Janet's album comes out.
-Whatever day Mariah's album comes out.
-Whatever day Ashanti's album comes out.
Beyonce's not trying to compete or overshadow, it's merely a coincidence that her pre-order date falls on the same day as other singers' album releases.

Afrodite said...

I've always heard about Atlanta's gay population but I was never really certain until that band formed that day.

StevenB said...

You have me rollin on da floor with tears in my eyes...you keep dis shit up!!!

phil said...

i also heard she is releasing 230 new perfumes this year?!

Anonymous said...

YOU ALL CAN GET A LIFE OR GO TO HELL AND LEAVE BEYOCE GISELLE KNOWLES ALONE I LOVE HER AND EVERTHING SHE DOES YOU ALL SUCK ASS AND I HOPE YOU DIE ASS HOLES

Anonymous said...

i love beyoncebut this shyt is too funny everything on this site is hilarious like the part of her not having a sit down part of her brain lol

Anonymous said...

SHUT YOU ALL SHE IS EXCELLENT AND AMAZING I LOVE YOU YOU ARE THE BEST IN THE WORLD...I AM FROM AZERBAIJAN FROM BAKU YOU ARE VERY FAMOUS IN OUR COUNTRY COME HERE YOU WILL SEE THIS.RASHAD...

Anonymous said...

YOU ALL CAN GET A LIFE OR GO TO HELL AND LEAVE BEYOCE GISELLE KNOWLES ALONE I LOVE HER AND EVERTHING SHE DOES YOU ALL SUCK ASS AND I HOPE YOU DIE ASS HOLES
^^^^
Lmao get the stick out of your ass. God i have never seen such crazy stans in all of my life. Or maybe im just mad cuz i aint creole. SMH

Anonymous said...

I call bullshit.

Anonymous said...

I am one of Beyonce's biggest biggest fans and I have to say that this is truly funny. LMAO

Anonymous said...

YOU ALL CAN GET A LIFE OR GO TO HELL AND LEAVE BEYOCE GISELLE KNOWLES ALONE I LOVE HER AND EVERTHING SHE DOES YOU ALL SUCK ASS AND I HOPE YOU DIE ASS HOLES
************************************
man chill out!! itz just a joke. i love beyonce 2 death jus like u ,but this story is funny!! this person who wrote this stuff about beyonce is a beyonce fan 2.

soulwriter said...

FRAKUM DRESSES FOR FREEDOM, YOU BETTA ASK SOMEBODY!!!

Anonymous said...

Soooo funny how many people claim to "hate" Beyonce, and then spend all this time making a site dedicated to her ... Jealous much??

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