Today, Wig Crypt (in association with KY Warming Mist) presents to you:
5 Reasons Why You Should Buy Tickets to Janet Jackson's Tour:
1. You used to want to be her. You dressed like her. You hurt yourself and damn near busted your little brother in the mouth trying to do one of her dance routines.
2. History has shown that she puts on a good show and you'll get your money's worth.
3. There aren't but a handful of Black females who can fill arenas (without co-headliners) and put on a good show. Beyonce isn't touring this year and I'm still undecided about whether I want to spend $200 to see Tina Turner "Crank That Golden Girls" on stage. Janet is our best bet for this year.
4. OPTION A: You can buy tickets to her concert when she comes to your local arena. OPTION B: Don't buy a ticket, the tour flops, and can buy tickets when she comes to your local high school auditorium starring in one of the urban/gospel/Negro plays: Why Did I Get Married to the Mad Black Woman at the Family Reunion while On My Way To Jail...on the Down Low.
5. Buying a ticket helps feed a starving, sickly-looking child.
Here's the Ticketmaster Link to her tour dates and to buy tickets.
If Janet doesn't sell at least 1,000 more tickets in each city she's performing by the end of this week I'm starting a rumor about Beyonce. I won't get specific but I'll give you a hint:
Beyonce+ barbeque sauce+Kelly Rowland+Ranch dressing+Rick Ross = Sex tape.
Don't make me do it... you know I will...
I've done my part.
It's your decision.
But don't say I didn't try.