I Gave All I Could Give...

We have reached the final day of our 1-Year celebration and I have nothing to talk about. If you don't like it you can straight to the Concrete Loop comment section hell.

I'm dry...

I'm tapped out...

I don't know what to talk about...

I have received several angry emails and messages blasting my treatment of Kelly Rowland (where was all this interest in Kelly when Miss Kelly was released?). Kelendria fans took offense when I said that Kelly's biggest achievement was being able to pay her Sprint bill. The Wig Crypt research department has bought to my attention that Kelly's song "Work" was a Top 10 hit in Australia, Estonia, Finland, Framce. Greece. Turkey, Switzerland, New Zealand, Italy, and the UK. Plus it was #1 in Poland, Bulgaria, and Germany, and it should also be noted that in addition to mobile phone service Kelly was able to get some cable in Baby Daniel's name.

Aside from that what else do we talk about?

I guess you've heard that Creole Lady Marmalade[1] is coming out with a new album scheduled for release November 2008. It's been kinda boring without her, but she's never really gone away. She's still on everyone's mind. Blogs still look for any excuse to bring her name into posts... I just cut to the chase...


[1] (joke courtesy of ahotmessblog.com)

ummm... what else should we talk about?

Should would we talk about Rhianna's peep show?

Photobucket

Why Grandma what big nipples you have...

I have nothing else to post. Nothing.

I guess I can post my favorite comment of the week since the comments are always funnier than the posts on these blogs.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"you forgot to mention solange. she's had a great year. a #1 song on numerous irrelevant billboard charts and the revenue from her hot dog stand is up 25%. pretty good considering the economy now-a-days..."

---motorbike



Motorbike, for your witty comedic commentary, you are the proud owner of a Wig Crypt Gift Basket including $500 worth of unsold House of Dereon merchandise, 2 loose Newports, a $15 Citi Trendz gift certificate, Shrimp flavored Ramen Noodles, half-used bottle of Pink Oil moisturizer and.... you guessed it... a copy of Miss Kelly (I can't help myself)

That's all I have today.

I might be back next week...

I might not...

I don't know.

I'm sleepy...

I need attention so give me feedback. Who did I miss this week? What was your favorite post? What should I talk about next week? What about my body-body?

Stay classy San Diego... and thanks for stopping by.


31 comments:

Jaska said...

lol this has been a good week. My fav post was the one about shit other celebs do that Beyonce would never get away with. I'll call Mama Tina and ask her to send you a case of that Creole strength root, so you can keep this up.

bo said...

this is really the best blog ever made..thank you for this amazing week of posts. i know that writing intelligent and funny stuff everyday can be stressful and become repetitive, but if you could post at least once a week from now on i would be happy with that. i hope you know u make my day every time i read something here...and i'm clearly not the only one. so please never stop!! whoever is behind this, you're a sheer genius!! cheers!!
bo (from croatia)
----
p.s. i can't really pick up the best post of this week...maybe the "things bey couldn't get away with" and the "survivors" are the best ones!!

Jay said...

Love me some Kelly Rowland but I have to admit that this site is HILARIOUS! I agree with bo, one post a week would be highly appreciated.

I have a topic for your next post. I would love to hear what you have to say about Michelle and the expected push-back of her "Unexpected" album. Look forward to it!

P.S. - I did go out and purchase Ms. Kelly AND the re-release!

Anonymous said...

Like the commenter above I PURCHASED my copy of Ms. KElly (two actually) and the online rerelease so I feel justified to be frustrated with her mistreatment. I mean some of the jokes boout her are funny, but you give the girl no credit. Why do you hate her so much? caz i never hear you bad mouthing michelle (whom i love as well- I'm a DC fan who loves and supports EACH member)

Anonymous said...

Dear Beyonceitis,

Please do whatever you can to post at least once or twice a week. Like a lot of others have said...you made my week so much better wit ur posts...I've been lmao especially since I hadn't been on in a while and had to refresh my memory. But keep doin yo thang...I love it.

And if u want somthin to talk about next week...talk about da victims of beyonceitis and their movie careers lol

Cuz Bey got 2 movies coming out months from eachother

Don't Hate Me said...

What about my body body? Does that mean the forum is open?

Senorita Fresca said...

you did great this week by posting everyday you need 2 keep that up lol

bee fan said...

I love this site, I know when Bee finally comes out with her new and album this site will be updating like everyday again.

Anonymous said...

my fav post is d stan/hater one lol
shall we talk about rhitties piercing lmao

soulwriter said...

I especially appreciate you posting that letter from Mama Tina; it let me know how gutter she is with her sh!t and exactly where the Creole Pimp learned his steez. Holla!

Oh, here's a good one; you ned to ask Mathew Knowles (the Teflon Dad) WHY EVERYONE HE SIGNS TO HIS MUSICWORLD ENTERTAINMENT LABEL sinks into a black hole of obscurity, but Beyonce merely wipes sideways and hold the 1 spot for 6 weeks. I mean, artists like Jon B, Trin-i-tee:5-7, Sunshine Anderson and Mojoe (a rap duo out of Austin) put out some quality sh!t on on his 'label, but you've NEVER hear from them again. EVER!!! WTF is up with that?!?

Anonymous said...

Marry me!

motorbike said...

*walks up to the podium and gladly accepts my wig crypt gift basket*

*leaves the ms. kelly CD on podium*

Mandy said...

Um, Moto, I am now convinced that you are behind this site. How could someone know that you are obsessed with Kelly AND you need new coasters. You planted this to throw us of the scent. I know it's you!

Anonymous said...

plz, fuck dat keep posting negative stuff about kelly and michelle and solange, ppl need 2 get tuffer skin the hole point of the site is to bash everyone, even through a couple shots at the queen bee but its all in good fun. keep doin ya thing and i would love if u would update atleast once or twice a week, this site realli does lighten up my day and wenever i need a laugh or havin a bad day i come the creole queen, wigcrypt site always for a good laugh

Don't Hate Me said...

motorbike said...

*walks up to the podium and gladly accepts my wig crypt gift basket*

*leaves the ms. kelly CD on podium*


---

Just dead. Just fucking dead.

Anonymous said...

I would love to read about the newcomers like Leona Lewis etc who were able to reach positions when Bee was out.

Love u!

Is there any chance?

gugu said...

DEAD @ the label. u really goona kill us all.

Anonymous said...

What about Jennifer Hudson's new single barely getting any airplay?

And the new chick Keri Hilson who Polow Da Don said would give Beyonce a run for her money..she's not blowing up either.

You did an amazing job this week btw!! Love this site! You've said so many things that have crossed my mind over the years! It's scarey! haha!

keikei said...

CHECK OU THIS VIDEO OF BEY AND RHI!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP1HRlDsf44

YEA I THINK YOU SHOULD POST SOMETHING ABOUT KERI HILSON ON THIS SITE!!! I AM A HUGE FAN OF HER BUT I DOUBT SHE CAN ACCOMPLISH HALF OF WHAT BEYONCE HAS DONE

Don't Hate Me said...

Just close the forum why dontcha... this some bullshit...

sashawannabe said...

girl (assuming you are), thanks for all your hard work this week at offering your brilliant analysis of the neverending smuckery surrounding our girl b, while, as usual, making us laugh our a$$es off in the process.

your efforts are much appreciated, so KEEP 'EM COMING (at a deliberate, yet speedy pace so as not to tire yourself too much, but still giving us our fix!).

You can't stop now! I'll even say a couple hail marys for you and send a Starbucks gift card your way. furreal. :D

Anonymous said...

Rihanna's titties are worse than Khia's. I'm sure we'll see her ass on the next season of Miss Pop Supreme soon.

And umm.. the truth is.. Kelly flopped! There is no if, buts, or maybe's about it. Now make like Bee say and "back up!"

motorbike said...

*still has a feelin' that some of the people in these comments still don't understand satire*

Anonymous said...

vote for this blog on this site...u can put it in no more than 5 categories. let's all vote in best humour, best fictional, best blog post, blog of the year and blog to watch. whoever is behind it deserves an award.

http://www.blackweblogawards.com/database/step1.php

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed the week of posts! It was really funny! I think my favorite was between What Beyonce Can't Get Away With and the other one talking about Beyonce Forums and breaking all the levels of fans, haters and stans down. It's hilarious! Keep doing what you do and update more please!!!

I think you should write about Solange and her recent "attitude" towards the industry and also how she's trying to abandon Beyonce and the fam. Homegurl got issues. Anyways please update soon! Thanx!

Afrodite said...

I need to hear more about Baby Daniel in my life. I vote for a Baby Daniel post!!

Anonymous said...

can we have a topic based on rihanna cas she is realy annoyin me w/ copying beyonce's swagger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSwTX0lmab8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP1HRlDsf44&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xo5q72cN8yY&feature=related

i used to like her but now its like she copies everybody, she copied her new look off fefe robinson & she still go on about bein real
oh can u also make a comment on pple sayin beyonce copies people's dressing, beyonce wears a dress den other pple go on n buy it lmao

and lets talk about how rihanna & chris make a cute couple

Lil' Creole Pimp said...

@ Afrodite

Is you not up on the Lil' Creole Pimp Chronicles?

Melissa said...

OMG,YOU DONE LOST YA MOTHER******* MIND. GUYS LOOK AT THIS PERSON'S YOUTUBE PAGE. HATER TO THE FULLEST, OR MAYBE EVEN LOVER. EITHER WAY, TOO MUCH TIME ON HE HANDS. COPY AND PASTE IN YOUR ADRESS BAR http://www.youtube.com/user/ptk4eva

Anonymous said...

"what about my body-body"??!!!

you are a damn fool i LOVE this blog!!

Anonymous said...

LMAO. hilarious, as always. you should definitely mention solange and her new song "fuck the industry (signed sincerely)" and the mixtape "i can't get clearance"