And Now A Moment in Black History...

First and foremost, I HAVE to remind you to vote. Vote! Vote! Vote! If you can hate on Beyonce for six hours a day then you should be able to spare an hour or less to voice your opinion in something that actually has an effect on your life and your future. VOTE!

With that said I have a brief history lesson for you.

A couple of hundred years ago, it was illegal for slaves (African Americans) to know how to read. And if "massah" found out you could read, you got an all-expenses paid trip to the Upper Room.

Hundreds of years of fighting and struggling later we are free to be as literate, intelligent, and informed as we want to be, but if it's not on a message board or a Beyonce CD booklet some of you dumb dickheads REFUSE to read it.

You'll count the number of paragraphs and say "Nope...I'm not reading all that..."

I could be giving out directions to get free cars filled with hundred dollar bills, and you wouldn't know it if it wasn't in the first sentence.

Our ancestors would weep.

READ A DAMN BOOK!

I can't force you to be literate so today's post is in video format.

For the next few weeks we will be celebrating the Best of Sasha Fierce.

I don't have words for you dumb journalists who have taken this Beyonce/Sasha thing too far...

I don't have the strength today. I'm kinda stressed. A little sad. Still a lil horny. Unlike Aretha I CAN'T find anyone willing to touch my body... well I can, but I have standards. I just can't give the goodies away randomly... I'm a classy ho...

But I digress...

Back to Beyonce.

I like Beyonce.

But I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Sasha Fierce.

What's the difference?

Beyonce will give you a ride to the club.

Sasha brings a change of shoes in case shit jumps off in the club.

Beyonce sends bail money.

Sasha is sitting in jail with you.

Beyonce waits until you come home from work to talk.

Sasha comes down to your job, acts a fool and has to be escorted out by security.

Beyonce breaks up with you but still wants to be friends.

Sasha breaks all the windows out your car.

Beyonce sips expensive champagne and eats at only the finest restaurants.

Sasha sneaks liquor and hot wings into the movie theater.

You get the picture?


Today's entry was "inspired" by Pop Up Video. For those of you who only get BET on your Comcast cable plan, Pop-Up Video was a show on VH1 that featured little-known trivia about music videos. So I decided to do a Pop-Up Video for Sasha videos giving you "facts" that even the most ignorantly devoted stan didn't know.

The first video in our "Best of Sasha" Video Series is her classic Destiny's Child performance of Cater 2 U performance from the 2005 BET Awards.



40 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you.

Lmfao

pinkyblue said...

this was priceless

Anonymous said...

First I'm loving the new layout. Beyonceitis is moving on up!

Second, you had me rolling over here on this latest post. So funny and just the comic relief I need.

Melissa said...

lmao at the pop up video! good stuff

Miss Haze said...

You have sent me to an early grave with that video. That rare footage of Bey and Farrah was priceless.

Melissa said...

lmao at the pop up video! good stuff

Anonymous said...

Yeah some of these bloggers are getting out of hand...but latley Tula Mae has been nice to Beyonce she is too busy hating on Obama.

Figures since they are both awesome people.

Don't Hate Me said...

[MichaelJacksonfromButterflies]And all I can do is sigh...[/MichaelJacksonfromButterflies]

This week just started and I REALLY needed that laugh. I needed that laugh like Cassie needs to fuck for tracks. I needed that laugh like Matthew need Tina. I needed that laugh like Tina need Plies. I need that laugh like Plies need to be scaled, de-boned, filleted, deep fried and slathered in tartar sauce...

Thank you for that.

Anonymous said...

I was on the floor dying! I need oxygen now! Especially with the rare video of Farah and Bey!
Bey: (It would be better if you go home than to have luggage!)
Farrah: (No It's Not!)
Bey: (It's Not!)*Hmm, I finna beat her ass for slick rapping*

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!!! Damn!! Homie, you just upgraded me!! B/c I had never seen that litle clip with Beyonce and Farrah..ya'll saw Michelle ass over there laughin'! And she such a Christian? Damn instigator is what she is!!

I'm bowing down...you're unstoppable! The Greatest!

It is What It Is... said...

omgosh...this was hilarious...completely. I had to watch it with the sound off and it was still funny. The clip with Farrah - even thought I couldn't hear it, I knew Beyonce was getting on her azz. HAHAHA!

prettyrikki said...

Im still in love with u!!! (from new edition) im lovinbg the pop up video..

Jewelry Rockstar said...

Wow good stuff!

Anonymous said...

i guess when bey was kickin farrah's ass...dats when she still had her lifetime card for popeyes chicken cuz that was a big bitch lmao

DEAD...laughin my black ass off. I love it!!!!!

soulwindow said...

I had tears, man.

Glow said...

OMG

You kill it each and everytime. You need an award, what kind of award, IDK...but an award!!!

This stuff is too funny!

Get you an Oscar for best writing or something, idk, and that pop up video...
flatline!

too much!

Anonymous said...

rotflmao.... still

Anonymous said...

lmao...u a beast with it!

I cannot! I refuse...lol

MandyFresh said...

I jus got off from work, and please believe this video. . .especially the last minute w/ Farrah VS Sasha was the shit. . . .Thanks and I love this blog!

sashagirlwho said...

dead @:

Beyonce has stated she doesn't cook much (or something to that effect).

Next bubble: Camels eat grass and other sorts of plants.

lol!! too funny!

Anonymous said...

oh man, i can't wait ot go home so i can watch it. stupid job blocks videos.

Anonymous said...

THERE IS ONE PERSON THAT SHITS ON BEYONCE AND THATS BRITNEY SPEARS. SHE WILL ALWAYS BE THE BOSS.


SORRY LOSERS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

LMAO at the person above me...Britney fucking Spears?! Gurl, stop it!!!

But anyway...I came over here to let you(beyonceitis) know that it's time for you to reveal yourself...Beyonce has been opening up alot lately..it's your turn...we've been 'riding with you for (2) years' and never have we ever seen a pic!!

M.J. said...

Now I know...... I like Beyonce, it's that damn Sasha Fierce. The b---- is crazy.

Anonymous said...

Love you, love you, love you. You are the truth, and the light. I loved this performance because poor Beyonce had NO idea when she pulled Terence Howard up on that damn stage, that negro was gonna fall in love. Did ya'll see the look in his eyes????? I bet he still stalking Beyonce in bushes, and calling her Sprint phone and hanging up.
Love this site!!!!!

Anonymous said...

hahaha. Love the video. i felt sorry for Farah, how was she to know it was Sasha and not beyonce whe was talking to? I think i'll leave her a tip next time i see her at Fridays.

daneical said...

LMAO madam you will surely be the death of me! Kelly workin at MJ theather-priceless

Anonymous said...

This is, hands down, the funniest thing ever. Bravo!

Anonymous said...

You are making it just a little bit cooler to be a Beyonce stan :)

Love your blog!!!

Mickey said...

You are insane, love you. Back to my chemistry homework...

Les said...

LMBO!!! Man, her voice when she said "it's not?" Hood. Hilarious

lildrummerboi said...

It's official! I'm addicted...

I need more....more of u lol. Or at least more post.

I've read every post at least 2x sittin here at work, catching something new each time and damn near got fired from laughing.

But I digress...

U mad talented homie and I'll continue to stress that as long as u keep it up.

sashagirlwho said...

I know who you are. You ain't no dude. You're ol girl from crunk and disorderly. If I'm wrong, which I am occasionally (ha), then somebody's seriously jacking somebody' else swagger.

either way, keep doing what you do. :D

Anonymous said...

Being A Beyonce Stan isnt easy. My sister called me a pyscho because I pre order the cd.

Eric M80 said...

Here's a little addition for the Best of Sasha Fierce: http://m80im.com/newsroom/tag/beyonce/

Anonymous said...

beyonce- "...its not?....."

hahah wow that was too much

Anonymous said...

Somebody has leaked Beyonce's cd..I know you already know..but I'm mad as HELL!!!!

I need for you to hook us up with a new post...'do somethin to make me feel better'

Anonymous said...

Somebody has leaked Beyonce's cd..I know you already know..but I'm mad as HELL!!!!

I need for you to hook us up with a new post...'do somethin to make me feel better'


_


Forgive Me Yall.

I downloaded it.

I'm still buy the cd's tho.

Lol

Ironic said...

The Beyonce vs. Farrah bit was priceless! "It's not?" DOA!

Bohemian Bookworm said...

I am over here crying. I hate you! By that, I mean I love you.