And Now A Moment in Black History...

First and foremost, I HAVE to remind you to vote. Vote! Vote! Vote! If you can hate on Beyonce for six hours a day then you should be able to spare an hour or less to voice your opinion in something that actually has an effect on your life and your future. VOTE!

With that said I have a brief history lesson for you.

A couple of hundred years ago, it was illegal for slaves (African Americans) to know how to read. And if "massah" found out you could read, you got an all-expenses paid trip to the Upper Room.

Hundreds of years of fighting and struggling later we are free to be as literate, intelligent, and informed as we want to be, but if it's not on a message board or a Beyonce CD booklet some of you dumb dickheads REFUSE to read it.

You'll count the number of paragraphs and say "Nope...I'm not reading all that..."

I could be giving out directions to get free cars filled with hundred dollar bills, and you wouldn't know it if it wasn't in the first sentence.

Our ancestors would weep.

READ A DAMN BOOK!

I can't force you to be literate so today's post is in video format.

For the next few weeks we will be celebrating the Best of Sasha Fierce.

I don't have words for you dumb journalists who have taken this Beyonce/Sasha thing too far...

I don't have the strength today. I'm kinda stressed. A little sad. Still a lil horny. Unlike Aretha I CAN'T find anyone willing to touch my body... well I can, but I have standards. I just can't give the goodies away randomly... I'm a classy ho...

But I digress...

Back to Beyonce.

I like Beyonce.

But I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Sasha Fierce.

What's the difference?

Beyonce will give you a ride to the club.

Sasha brings a change of shoes in case shit jumps off in the club.

Beyonce sends bail money.

Sasha is sitting in jail with you.

Beyonce waits until you come home from work to talk.

Sasha comes down to your job, acts a fool and has to be escorted out by security.

Beyonce breaks up with you but still wants to be friends.

Sasha breaks all the windows out your car.

Beyonce sips expensive champagne and eats at only the finest restaurants.

Sasha sneaks liquor and hot wings into the movie theater.

You get the picture?


Today's entry was "inspired" by Pop Up Video. For those of you who only get BET on your Comcast cable plan, Pop-Up Video was a show on VH1 that featured little-known trivia about music videos. So I decided to do a Pop-Up Video for Sasha videos giving you "facts" that even the most ignorantly devoted stan didn't know.

The first video in our "Best of Sasha" Video Series is her classic Destiny's Child performance of Cater 2 U performance from the 2005 BET Awards.



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And Now A Word From Celestine...



Hello children. This is your homegirl and sister-in-Christ Miss Tina. I want to take this time and remind you about the importance of voting.

This is a very important time in our history, you have the power to affect the world and it's important that you make your voices heard...so get up and vote for my child on 106 and Park! RIGHT NOW!

This week I've been chilling a lil bit. I have been at home this week nursing a knee injury. I was trying to do that move in "Single Ladies" the one where my baby gets down and starts slinging her cooch around...



(my son-in-law can't handle all that Creole Kitty!)

So I got up on the coffee table, tried to sling my stuff around, fell off the damn coffee table and fucked my knee caps up all to pieces, so I have been at home recuperating... eating Cheetos, drinking Hennessy and watching Can't Turn Hoes into Real Housewives of Atlanta on Bravo (get into it!).

I'm very proud of both of my girls right now. Solange is overseas touring with Miss Alicia Keys, promoting her album, and Beyonce is about to start promoting her album. Beyonce is planning her promo tour right now and it's good that she is so famous and in-demand that she has to say "No" to certain things. Back in the day we had to beg people to let Beyonce and Destiny's Child perform, and they would sing wherever there was a stage, shit, Matthew would have booked them at a Ku Klux Klan rally if it would have sold a couple of records. But times have changed, and now Beyonce can sell a couple of hundred thousand just off her name alone. She can do that because she's earned it. But you still hate on her. I get tired of people hating on Beyonce for no reason. It's ok to hate... but if you're going to hate, be an intelligent hater. Don't be an irrational hater.

Irrational haters go on YouTube watch a Beyonce video for 5 minutes then say shit like "That sucks"

Oh word? It took you 5 minutes to determine whether or not it sucked? You sat through the whole damn video... did you think it would get better during the last 2 seconds?

Irrational haters waste hours typing thesis papers on movies that don't exist. (Rational hater would have done more research, but irrational haters CAN'T WAIT for an opportunity to hate)

Irrational haters say things like "Beyonce is Overexposed" while their favorite artist flops on every chart around the world. They are so busy hating that they forgot to buy the albums. :(

I ain't got no time for irrational haters.

I ain't got no time for hating ass bi-polar ass Faux Fox News reporters who don't know how they feel about Beyonce.

I ain't got no time for no monkey-mouthed, hypocritical ass photojournalists afraid to leave their house who spend all day fantasizing about bumping vaginas with Monica while T.I. dangles his sack on their forehead.

(Yes I said it! You wanna do something about it? You know where I live at! Come on down to Houston and get this ass-whooping. You can try to call the police to pull me off yo' ass but we don't get good cell phone reception on Hadley Street!!!)

And please don't say things like: "Everybody I know hates Beyonce..." that's like a crackhead saying "Everybody I know says it's ok to smoke crack. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HANG OUT WITH OTHER CRACKHEADS YOU DUMB ASS! If you're a hater chances are you hang out with other haters and all a hater needs is just one other hater to co-sign, especially if that hater has a blog.

I'm a classy broad and I don't get into beefing. Everybody is entitled to their opinions, but some of what you say about my children would have been fighting words back in the day, and if I wasn't such a fuckin' lady I'd meet you out in the parking lot and lay hands on you...but I ain't got time for that. I'm thinking of opening up a Dereon Charm School of Etiquette to teach some of you trick-ass hoes how to have tact and class... because I ALWAYS try to conduct myself in manner befitting a true lady of Dereon.

Oh, And Aretha you got but one more time to pop off at the mouth about my firstborn... and me and Tina Turner will ride past your house in her tour bus and the wigs will come off, and the pistols will come out...

If you haven't noticed I'm tired of misdirected hate.

Ciara was up on the radio talking about how she felt about Beyonce's song "If I Were a Boy" which has a similar TITLE to her song "Like A Boy"... she was careful about what she said...which was smart of her... I can look at Ciara and tell she knows what a good ass-whoopin' feels like, it has taken her damn near 5 years to find a weave that works for her and I would hate to have Beyonce and Solange ride by her house and snatch a significant chunk of her hair from out her scalp.

Ciara did the right thing by keeping her mouth shut, but it seems like she was confused as to whether it was ok to talk greasy about Beyonce on the radio. So to clear up any confusion I have created a Hater Chart. This basically tells artists if it's ok for them to hate on Beyonce or not:



The green circle means you have the green light to hate on Beyonce.

The yellow circle means you can hate on Beyonce but only under certain conditions.

The red circle means if you even think of hating on Beyonce you'll get your shit split.

This applies to artists and stans of those artists.

Please post this on your message boards and blogs, and when these haters start to jump stupid...show them the chart.

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This is usually the part of my show where I answer some of my mail and give advice...but today I need YOUR advice. I am dating someone very special. I'm not one of these tramps who go around bragging and naming names, and putting their biznazz all out in the skreet so I won't tell you who he is, I'll just say that he's a rapper and he is Plies. I told myself I wouldn't date another rapper after I broke up with Lil Wayne last summer, but I said to myself "Tina Ann, take a 2nd chance." So I did. So me and Plies went to the picture show last Friday, went to dinter, walked around, talked, laughed, and had a good time before he went back on tour. And before you start thinking nasty thoughts, nothing sexual happened. My goodies stayed in the jar...you know why?... cause I'm a LADY! So anyway we've been texting each other all week while he is on the road, but he hasn't mentioned anything about a 2nd date. How do I know if he is interesting in me or if he just wants to be text buddies... (I'm too old to be anybody's text buddy.)

I told myself I'm not trying to get married again. If I do it would have to be a good man, intelligent, ambitious, sensitive yet strong. He would have to be good with kids (Solange is a handful, and Beyonce plays with matches) and he better have thunder and lightning in his pants...(if any of you ladies know what I'm talking about take your wigs off and swing em in the air.)

Anyway... I really like him, and it's getting cold outside, and I need somebody to snuggle up with for the winter. I got $865,000 worth of Dereon Lingerie in my basement gone to waste cause I ain't got a man... and I don't know how he feels about me, and I'm to afraid to ask. Part of me feels like if he didn't like me he wouldn't text me all day...but the other part of me says if he REALLY liked it he would have put a ring on it and booked a 2nd date. I don't know...

(sigh)

If anybody can give me some good advice please call me, fax me, or drop it off in the comment section...it's a matter of extreme importance... my first middle-aged love affair.


I'll talk to you later...In the meantime...Be safe, keep it clean, and when in doubt ask yourself... What would Tina do?


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If I Were A Blogger...

I really don't consider myself a "blogger" per se. I don't get paid for it. Haven't met that many famous people. Don't get any sex, or free clothes out of this. But if I were a blogger what would separate me from the rest is the fact that I will openly admit that I lurk on BeyonceWorld... well apprently they are tired of you (that's right YOU) bloggers taking pictures and information that they copied WITHOUT giving them credit. I'm pasting a post made today at BeyonceWorld. They copy and paste my shit all the time so I hope they don't mind me copying this letter.

Here is the letter typed by "goldeneyez1".

(The views and opinions of this letter do not represent the views and opinions of WigCrypt and blog and blogger names have been removed)

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STOP STEALING FROM THE BEYONCE WORLD BOARD


Bloggers,

How do you claim to have "exclusive" content, yet all you do is come on Beyonce's fanboard and take articles that other members researched. This thread is to call all of you out. You make it seem like you thought of these original ideas, when you take the same thread topic and turn it into an exlusive [sic] "blog post" of your own. It's ridiculous. You do it to get hits, yet you are stealing ideas from the people who are real fans. Stop being lazy and trying to pass off this work as your own. On top of that, stop acting like you are throwing shade and acting like you aren't a big fan, when you know dern well you take your information from her number one fan site. Get real, and get a life, and a REAL CAREER. Blogging could be that path for you, yet you are a thief and unoriginal. On top of that, you even take pictures that members go out of the way to get themselves. While you are sitting on your fat, ugly, bad weave and skin having behinds, just plucking all of this info from her fan site. You need to post disclaimers under your content that says "I WAS LURKING ON BEYONCE'S FAN SITE TO GET THIS INFORMATION" so you can be exposed for the fake people that you are. At least have the deceny [sic] and smarts to find the information on your own.

No you wait until we post it, then you are about three days late with the information after we posted it. Here are examples.

--The (BLOG NAME) Tracklisting-(Posted here first then the blogs ran it)
--Beyonce's album covers (here first)
--If I Were a Boy Single (here first before other black blogs ran it)
--Single Ladies video (played on yahoo first, and then posted on bwboard)
--THE BILLBOARD REVIEW OF BEYONCE AND RIHANNA'S COMPARISON((BLOGGER NAME)'s lame a.ss from (BLOG) has this as a main story, GTFOH)
--Beyone's photoshoot (on the board first before being placed on blogs)
--A Recent fans pic with Beyonce after 106 (bwboard exlusive stolen by a troll faced blogger)
--Cadillac Records pics (of course on other sites, but on here before a lot of other black blogs got it)

I can go on and on, and I'm sure other members can add more to this list. But this is just unacceptable and plain foolish. Why throw shade to Beyonce sometimes on your blogs when you come to her number one fansite to get your information. Not to mention a lot of Beyonce pictures they put up are credited to Beyonceworld.net. They go actively searching for her, and then "roll their eyes", because Beyonce is "everywhere". Attention bloggers. You Make her appear everywhere, as you keep appearing on her fansite. Become more original, stop stealing your information, stealing pictures, without giving credit for what sparked your idea for your topics. It's starting to get out of hand, and I believe it is a big joke. From now on you will be called out for your dumb tactics. This includes (BLOGGER NAME), (BLOGGER NAME), (SEA CREATURE FROM ATLANTA), etc. All of you who steal from this board and try to pass it off as your own work step your game up, because this blogging "career" won't last you forever. Especially at the heartless and tactless rate that you're going.


-Golden (and other pissed off bwboard members)

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Well I have mixed feelings about this.

On one hand blogs=free publicity for Queen Creole. However I know how irritating it is to work hard on something and have someone just rip you off. (Let me say it again for the people in the back of the church)

I KNOW HOW IRRITATING IT IS TO WORK HARD ON SOMETHING AND HAVE SOMEONE JUST RIP YOU OFF.

I have always been bothered by the fact that some bloggers go out of there way to throw grease (do people still say grease?) on Beyonce every chance they get, but have had active memberships on BeyonceWorld since Crazy In Love came out.

On the other hand it IS the internet, and it's hard to prove the source of certain things. I think photographers (even the ones with chimps swinging in their family tree) should be compensated or credited when their photos are used. But things are used over and over and in so many places it's hard to do that, and some people don't feel like they should credit people for the things they take.

And there are some outright lies that BeyonceWorld started that bloggers picked up that I would NOT take credit for (Virtuoso Intellect? Beyonce and Usher's BET Awards performance?)

I'm not sure how I feel about this...

What do you think?


While you think about it please enjoy the mellow sounds of Jimmy Early:



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Back From Africa...

So I'm watching Beyonce on 106 and Park. Rocsi is asking dumb-ass, obvious-ass questions like: "So Beyonce, when you eat a whole plate of food does that inspire you to take a shit?"

So then I go to the Britney Spears Fan Club MTV.com and they are are laying it on THICK with their promotion of her Britney's new album, and I admit I'm kind of jealous.! I understand they still have egg on their face because she bombed at last year's VMAs, and now they have to try to build her up as the Queen of Pop so they don't look stupid, but I just hope that they are this generous with Beyonce
after her breakdown...

But I digress.

I don't have much to say about "Single Ladies" or "If I Had a Dick".

What can I say?

It's not like Beyonce just started shitting on chicks last week... It's been going on for awhile so I'm used to it.

I do have one request though...

I'm going to need you NOT to try to put a ring on it while at the jukejoint, clubhouse, or anywhere colored people are in close proximity to each other, because if you accidentally bust me in the mouth trying to do what the fast girls do I'm going to have to take you out to the parking lot and handle it like gentlemen (or ladies depending on what type of club we're at).

So, on to the point of this post. When I was taking a journalism class, the teacher said: when you are debating or presenting an argument never give the opposing side an idea they didn't have before.

Again...

Never give the opposing side an idea they didn't have before.

Never give the opposing side an idea they didn't have before.

Never give the opposing side an idea they didn't have before...

...unless you are prepared to argue against it:




I've also allowed you to embed so you can post THIS your blog.

Dumb ass.


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It's Spreading...

What's going on with Beyonce?

Let's see...

Jay-Z Wants To Have Kids Now...

I wonder why?


Beyonce is releasing a 70-song, 7-disc album? Oh word dumbasses?

I thought she did something like that already.


Beyonce in 2008:

"Something that says who I am at this stage in my life. I have poured my heart and soul into it. I am in a different place right now, and I wanted people to see the many sides of me,”

"Beyonce" in 2007

"[This album] is very special to me. I've gotten a lot of criticism that my music isn't "deep" so for my next project I told myself that I would dig deeper. I was looking for that song to take me to the next level, I was looking for the song that would change my sound."

Beyonce donates wigs to charity?

I told you that 2 months ago... remember Wigs for Kids?