I Am...Tired of This Shit

Beyonce Stan: Did you see Beyonce's new (tour/video/magazine cover/birth control pill commercial) she shut it down! Take that haters!

Bitter Stan: Why she have that white woman hair in her head. She so fake.

Bitter Stan: She stole that ponytail from Janet. Janet invented ponytails. She's a legend. Beyonce is a swaggerjacker.

Beyonce Stan: BITCH! Beyonce can wear whatever she want on her head. She got 10 Grammys!

Bitter Stan: She stole that! She's always stealing shit.

Beyonce Stan: BITCH! Beyonce ain't gotta steal shit! She got 10 Grammys!

Bitter Stan: She need to stop eating all that Popeyes. Her hips are spreading like rumors.

Beyonce Stan: BITCH! Beyonce can eat all the chicken she wants. She got 10 Grammys!

Bitter Stan: She stole chicken from Janet. Janet invented chicken. Jimmy Jam just added hot sauce, but Janet invented chicken and she never gets the credit she deserves. She's a legend. Beyonce is a swaggerjacker.

Bitter Stan: Beyonce is so overrated.

Beyonce Stan: BITCH! Yo Mama's dick-sucking skills are overrated you baldheaded ho. Beyonce ain't overrated! She got 10 Grammys!

Bitter Stan: Janet invented dick-sucking. That's why she sings about it all the time. She invented it in Minneapolis in 1985. She's a legend. Beyonce is a swaggerjacker.


(sigh)

Allow me to re-introduce myself.

The name of this site is Beyonceitis.

Beyonceitis was founded on 3 basic concepts:

1. Beyonce is more underrated than overrated.

2. Not all gay men love Beyonce. Only attractive gay men love Beyonce. Unattractive gay men prefer other artists.

3. Hating on Beyonce won't make your favorite artist anymore relevant.

Around these concepts I made a web site and a blog, both highly satirical, but rooted in truth. No matter how deep in denial you are, whether it's mild Ciara-stan denial or severe Janet-stan denial, you can't deny that after June 24, 2003 the game changed and Beyonce made it very difficult to have a vagina in pop/R&B music.

Some girls survived.

A lot of them didn't.

So I made a site to document this period. I called it "Beyonceitis". I'm assuming that it must be true otherwise the name of this site would be Cassieitis. Since the site started in 2007 Beyonceitis has spread and grown more deadly. Despite the hate and opposition Beyonce's career as only grown in the last 2 years. I realized that Beyonceitis had fully taken over when Beyonce turned the inauguaration into the I Am... Sasha Fierce tour. I said to myself : "Sasha Fierce doesn't play fair. It's really a shame how she whoops these girls asses. She has SLAUGHTERED the game."

I've never seen anything like it, and neither have you. So I felt the need to document it with this blog.

I've never received one red cent from this site. Not even a Dereon gift certificate, a METRO card, a WIC coupon, or nothing. Perhaps that makes me a devoted stan Sasha Fierce Support Representative, perhaps it makes me a bad businessman. I keep it pretty loose around here. I don't delete comments or disable comments. If I get to say what I want to say you should say what you want to say (except free advertising). I do this for free without a lot of complaining, however, I come to you today because ladies and genetlemen "ladies" I am tired.

I am tired of the arguing between stans. I'm tired of us searching Google, Billboard, and Wikipedia for albums sales, concert sales, #1 singles and things trying to "shut each other down".

And before you even think it, let me state facts:

I DON'T hate on an artists.

Hate is saying something like "Beyonce's (expletive word for female genitalia) smells like a 3rd world country" as somebody wrote in the comment section last week (SIDEBAR: Anonymous posting is for pussies).

Hate is when you make a general negative statement rooted in nothing but ignorance and your own disdain.

Everything I say (that's not obvious fiction) can be backed up factual evidence.

Yes, I understand that some Beyonce stans go to YouTube pages to start shit also. Those stans do not represent the views and opinions of the rest of us. If you have learned anything from this blog it's that it is possible to support an artist WITHOUT having your head so deep up their anuses that you can't see the reality of certain things.

This is why I don't do "nice" posts about other artists. You always take it the wrong way. I was NOT dissing Ciara. I like Ciara. I just hate to see her opening for other artists and pushing back albums at this stage of her career. I mean, I give constructive criticism to Beyonce, and I love her more than I love porn, hot wings and top-shelf liquor. What makes you think I won't give constructive criticism to other artists? It doesn't make me less of a fan of Ciara, just less of a hypocrite.

But today is a new day. I would like to create an understanding between stans of other artists, so I would like to introduce the Beyonceitis Stan Peace Agreement. This agreement is designed to reduce the arguing, bickering, and general ignorance that has over taken comment sections all around the internet. It's ok to have an opinion, crack jokes, or even disklike an aritst, but I feel that given the chance, some of you would stab a bitch over your favorite artist, and it's really not that deep. I wouldn't stab nobody over Sasha Fierce. I might let some air out of your tires, or send a computer virus or something, but stabbing... no.

Anyway... here's the agreement:

CONDITIONS AND TERMS OF THE BEYONCEITIS PEACE AGREEMENT

BEYONCEITIS VICTIMS CLAUSES

Section A. - Ashanti

Beyonce stans shall refrain from calling Ashanti "Ashitty" "Sideburns McGee" "Magilla Gorilla" "Flopshanti", or any derogatory name. We will not bring up how she sucked the color off Irv Gotti's pecker to get a record deal because you have no video or photographic proof of that. You will admit that you thought her 1st album was the shit, and you also liked her other albums even if you only downloaded them.

She had the biggest opening week sales for a R&B female artist and in the same week she became the first female performer to simultaneously hold the top two places on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart. She must've done something right before Beyonceitis paralyzed her.

You are not obligated to purchase a concert ticket to see Ashanti, as most Bingo casinos have an age limit.

In return we ask that Ashanti stans be quiet and be grateful that she wasn't a featured contestant on "For the Love of Ray-J."

Section B. - Brandy and Monica

Beyonce stans shall refrain from bringing up Brandy's "spiritual union" or her string of flop albums. They were all great artistic achievements.

You will not say anything bad about Monica. Don't nobody better say nothing bad about Monica! Monica ain't neva done nothing to nobody! You know you like Monica. In your imagination Beyonce and Monica are best friends, and Beyonce is the godmother of Monica's children, and Monica does Beyonce's hair, usually with a ponytail on the right side, kinky twists on the left, a swoop bang in the front, and her name cornrowed in the back. And they go to clubs, outlet malls, and Waffle Houses together with Keyshia Cole and they all keep small handguns boxcutters in their purse in case shit jumps off.

I still would not buy a concert ticket to see Brandy because she only tours Six Flags parks now, and the Six Flags closest to me gets quite "niggaish" in the summertime, and I will NOT be ducking and dodging bullets just to see the Moesha Experience.

In return we ask that Brandy stans be quiet and be grateful that she's not in prison fighting Big Sally for her virginity.

SECTION C - Janet Jackson

Beyonce stans shall refrain from referring to Janet Jackson as "Tranet" "Floppita Jo" "Janet Jackass" or any other derogatory name. That lady is an icon. A legend. She paved the way for all of these tone-deaf broads to pop their poons on stage, and she STILL looks good.

You will not bring up her string of failed albums or the Super Bowl incident unless it's a severe stan emergency. You will not bring up her canceling her tour due to low ticket sales, vertigo, severe vaginal itch, or the bad economy. Stop rubbing salt on an open wound. That lady is an icon. A legend. Show some muddafuckin' respect.

In return we ask Janet stans to just... go away.

SECTION D - Christina Aguilera

Although you are not required to be a fan of the vocal masturbation that Christina Aguilera calls singing, you shall respect the unique and creative creature that is Christina Aguilera. Even if else nobody cares.

In return we ask Xtina fans to go stick themselves.

SECTION E - Mya

You shall tip her at least 20% when your bill comes at Ruby Tuesdays. I know it's a recession, but it's hard out there for minimum wage workers.

SECTION F -Kelly Rowland

Beyonce stans shall refrain from making jokes about 'Miss Kelly'. Like saying that they're on sale for 19 cents at K-Mart. Or that they give it away free with McChickens at McDonalds. "Miss Kelly" was an excellent and underrated album, and Kelly Rowland a unique talent, who... I'm sorry I can't...

SECTION G . Amerie

(Please see Mya)

SECTION H. - Ciara

Beyonce stans will not call her "Cecil", "Cialis", or any name which insinuates that she has male genitals. That is a woman. She was born a woman. The End.

You liked her first and 2nd albums, you two used to be homegirls until you started ackin' funny and hanging out with Beyonce, now you act like you don't know nobody. Her number is still the same. Why don't you call her. She'd love to hear from you.

In return we ask that Ciara stans be quiet and be grateful that she hasn't been dropped from her label due to "creative differences".

SECTION I . Britney Spears

Beyonce stans will respect the power of Britney Spears. Just a year ago people were writing her obituary, now she's selling out concerts. This lady deserves handclaps and fingersnaps. So please snap in a circle, a triangle, or rectangle for Miss Spears 3 times.

In return we ask that Britney Spears stans be quiet and be grateful, that she's still around, even if she doesn't know where she is half the time.

SECTION J. Rihanna

Beyonce stans shall admit the fact that Rihanna gave Beyonce hell for a brief period from late 2007 to mid-2008, and for that deserves at least a token amount of your respect.

You must admit that style-wise Rihanna slays 90% of these broads even if vocally she sounds like a goat being molested.

You will admit that "Good Girl, Gone Bad" will probably go down as one of the best albums of this decade.

You will not dwell on the events of February 8, 2009, or use it as a comeback in arguments against Rihanna stans.

You will not say that you will "Chris Brown a bitch." Or give somebody a "Chris Brown Combo". That is not acceptable language and Beyonce would not condone it. She would laugh about it with Angie and Solange in her dressing room, but she wouldn't want you to say it publicly on a message board. Her mama taught her better than that.

You are still not required to pay to see Rihanna in concert. $100 is too much money for a high-tech fashion show. The damn Ebony Fashion Fair costs $25 and that includes a FREE subscription to Jet.

(SIDEBAR:1989 Jet Magazine with Cast of 'A Different World' of the Cover > Rihanna Concert)

In return we ask that Rihanna stans just be quiet.

SECTION K - Beyonce

Beyonce stans shall realize that the world was not created on September 4, 1981.

You shall stop being general jackasses. Stop being so easily baited into arguments.

Stop trolling around YouTube starting fights with people.

You shall realize that if you visit the blog of somebody you know hates on Beyonce just to defend Beyonce you are still putting money in their pockets.

You shall realize that petitions are for pussies. Nobody cares what you think.

You shall realize that it's ok NOT to like everything Beyonce does. You won't get your stan card revoked.

You shall realize that there's nothing I can say or you can say to totally "shut down" a hater. The only person who can truly shut down a Beyonce hater is Beyonce, and she's been doing that everyday for the past 10 damn years.

SECTION L. Provisions for ALL stans.

1. You shall not sign up on a message board to promote other artists. All it does is piss off the other members, and make you look desperate.

2. You shall admit that Beyonce is better than everybody at everything including but not limited to singing, dancing, acting, video games, drawing, hot dog eating contests, martial arts, forensic science, hunting, fishing, mud wrestling, basketball, boxing, horseback riding, fencing, hockey, dodgeball, and putting up sheetrock. Plus, she has a paralegal degree, a real estate license, she can type 75 words a minute, and she can roll a blunt and glue on a lacefront wig at the same damn time.

3. We shall all try to relax and have a sense of humor. It's just entertainment.


We enter into this agreement on the ____________________ day of ____________________ of the year ___________.



_________________________________________________X
(SIGNATURE)





---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want to foster a more cooperative spirit among stans. I want us to take it back to the 90's when there was a bunch of chicks running things versus having one chick run everything and a bunch of hating internet bitches mad at her. So I need a stan representative for each relevant or relevantly irrelevant female artist to sign this and fax or mail this agreement to Wig Crypt Headquarters.

Wig Crypt International Headquarters
(Fax) 777-9311

If this is not signed by a representative from each of the above artists within five (5) days, and if I don't see a decrease in YouTube, blog, and board arguing then the agreement is null and void and I will go back to being spiteful and mean towards the wack-ass artists that you stan for. If I left anybody out please add on in the comment section.


69 comments:

Tootie said...

Dammit i just called Ciara, Cephus last night. Now i have to behave. that sucks. Can i least use Floppita Jo in a sentence b4 i sign this?


quit jacking off that Anon button, puzzies!

Beyonceitis said...

NO! You will conduct yourself in a manner befitting a classy lady of Dereon.

Tootie said...

Sigh. Are we allowed to mention that Kelly reportedly got drop kicked off her label? Can we do...told ya'll I was gonna drop like this jokes? Prolly not huh, fine lemme get my pen.


twitter.com/Tootiej btw heffa

Beyonceitis said...

I am not a heffa!

I guess I would be a heffo...

What does Wayne call himself?

Tootie said...

"A bad bitch as bad as Beyonce" No lie he said that shit on his Vlog.

Beyonceitis said...

(walks away from laptop)

DJ Wolff said...

Can I continue to call Ashanti by her real name, Shequoiya Douglas??

But DEAD @ Floppita Jo!!!

I sign!

H.C said...

but Beyonceitis this is too much!! we can't do that! even tough I'm sick of this ish too I cannot support peace between the stans, I am "A modern day warrior"
but I will give it a try tough just for you Beyonceitis!

Beyonceitis said...

H.C said...
but Beyonceitis this is too much!! we can't do that! even tough I'm sick of this ish too I cannot support peace between the stans, I am "A modern day warrior"
but I will give it a try tough just for you Beyonceitis!
--------------------------

Try it... Sasha Fierce would be pleased.

Beyonceitis said...

Can I continue to call Ashanti by her real name, Shequoiya Douglas??
-------------------------

Shequoiya, yes.

Sasquatch, no.

http://www.bigfootmustdie.com/MessinWithSasquatch_3.jpg

lildrummerboi said...

LOL. I really can't. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever...

Where the hell u get all this from? U either like a super genius who just has this incredible mind to formulate all this or either...sh*t, I don't know...

I'm taking a nap...

H.C said...

Beyonceitis said...

Try it... Sasha Fierce would be pleased.

--------------------------------
Well, anything to please the savior.

Shayla said...

I cant stand Trailor Park Spears.

Okay , I'm done.

melissa said...

okay, after laughing I abide by the rules!

Dan said...

Nice post...but we can only dream.

Buffy the Homewrecker Slayer said...

So only Beyonce stans vs Everyone else stans???? Ok :/

What about:

Ciara vs Rihanna

or

Madonna vs Mariah?

or even

Mary J Blige vs Keyshia cole?

Assistance is needed!!!!!!!!!!

MAYDAY I NEED AN ADULT!!!!!!! I
NEED AN ADULT!!!!!!!!!!

It'sJustTheInternetSilly said...

You forgot the random ignorant A. Keys stans who hate on Bey even though we Sasha Fierce Support Representatives leave her to her piano playing homewrecking ways.
And perhaps the random media haters...like that heffa over at Fox "News" who changes her mind about Bey like Karrine Steffans changes draws and MediaTakeout.com who seems to be obsessed with every part of her body need their own contract to report facts.

Also, I was about to make a YouTube video telling all stans everywhere to calm their junior high asses down but yet again: you did work. Thank you and congrats.

And wouldn't you know: as I prepare to sign this: "Flaws and All" (Live of course) comes on. Queen Creole is giving her blessing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Marissa...aka the commenter formerly known as wigcryptcreeper aka the nonblogger known as iamnotablogger aka that colored chick ova dere aka...okay, I'll stop.

And I have to admit: I've worn "Love,Sex,Magic" out today.

Anonymous said...

keeps gettin better !!
it's really funny.love the Rihanna,monica,ciara,aguilera sections...lol
i always takee my breath before a new post.But i just cant sign this...Maybe after jayonce fierce and hova junior births !

It'sJustTheInternetSilly said...

Oh, and the "She got 10 Grammys" part had me dying because beyond the fact that stans won't let anyone forget that, it took me back to when Chris Rock (I love him. High school dropout or not he's a genius!) was hosting the 2003 VMAs and did the rhetorical conversation about 50 Cent and responded "He got shot nine times!" to every question.

Beyonceitis said...

It'sJustTheInternetSilly said...
Oh, and the "She got 10 Grammys" part had me dying because beyond the fact that stans won't let anyone forget that, it took me back to when Chris Rock (I love him. High school dropout or not he's a genius!) was hosting the 2003 VMAs and did the rhetorical conversation about 50 Cent and responded "He got shot nine times!" to every question.
--------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I remember that...

SMITTY said...

I refuse to sign this disclaimer. There is too much turmoil going on right now..bitches is sitting around waiting for beysus to mess up on this tour and fall down or something.... the national security threat on beysus is on code level red (ring the alarm)...i mean dam i cant even log onto a blog cuz erybody is following her around as she tours spoiling the concert for negros like me...THE MAN-ET JACKSON FANS ARE BITTER AND THERE ON THE PROWL BEWARE!!!

Beyonceitis said...

)...i mean dam i cant even log onto a blog cuz erybody is following her around as she tours spoiling the concert for negros like me...
-----------------------------

Thank you!

I can't even go on my "mature" sites to do some ho shit without people posting tour videos and pictures. We're not safe anywhere! If I don't want to pay $10 and have a movie spoiled I don't know why people think i want to know all about a concert i spend $125+++++ on.

Jewelry Rockstar said...

I'm wit Smitty it's code Red the tour has begun. Gotta watch these bitches! Especially Rih-Rih stans, they're on the prowl every since the lump head photo has been released. They are looking to bash Ms.Bey cause their chick got smashed around.

ms. morgana said...

i'm just going to mention some of the people who have talked slick about our savior. i'm not saying they deserve a second chance, but they aren't officially blacklisted either.

aretha franklin
etta james
MTV
Keri Hilson
Ne-Yo

not to mention the "blogs" (those air quotes are used in the loosest way possible) who hate the way beyonce gets out of bead in the morning and how she brushes her teeth from front to back, or back to front..it don't really matter, they'll hate anyway.

Beyonceitis said...

Y'all are in violation of Sections A, C, D, H, I, and 4 counts of Section J.

Y'all are sofa king hardheaded! How are supposed to advance as a people? Beyonce would not be pleased... Sasha Fierce would laugh though...

Anonymous said...

Rihanna gave Beyonce hell for a brief period from late 2007 to mid-2008

HELL????
LET ME THINK ABOUT IT !
WHERE WAS BEY AT THIS PERIOD???
.
..
TOURING/SHOOTING MOVIES AND GETTING MARRIED.
HELL MY ASS;-) THEY ALL WAIT FOR BEY TO GO ON TOUR.HER ALBUM WAS PUSHING BACK JUST LIKE CICI KELLY MICHELLE...thanks to daddy jay

Anonymous said...

and CB scandal ..

It'sJustTheInternetSilly said...

Oh: and since you didn't list C-Error I will continue to use it.

thank you

Mealy said...

Phuck advancing!! phuck erry bish on dat list abcdefgh and muthafuggin I (not k, I love u sasha!!)

Phuck ashitty, miscarriage baby, Tranet Dickson, C-error, Pon da 4 head from wall to wall, and Shitney spears!!!

Phuck all those bald headed licentious, hedonistic, decrepit, scallywags erryday of the week from now until but not limited too Christmas.

P.S i hope they pussies break..

Sincurly,
Mealy - CEO Booga Hook-a-Bish Records
----------------------------------
in case u didn't comprehend, that's a no to the treaty......

Beyonceitis said...

Mealy said...
Phuck advancing!! phuck erry bish on dat list abcdefgh and muthafuggin I (not k, I love u sasha!!)

Phuck ashitty, miscarriage baby, Tranet Dickson, C-error, Pon da 4 head from wall to wall, and Shitney spears!!!

Phuck all those bald headed licentious, hedonistic, decrepit, scallywags erryday of the week from now until but not limited too Christmas.

P.S i hope they pussies break..

Sincurly,
Mealy - CEO Booga Hook-a-Bish Records
----------------------------------
in case u didn't comprehend, that's a no to the treaty......

March 30, 2009 6:17 PM
-----------------------------

You cold as ice!

H.C said...

@ 6:17
LMFAO!!
people you need to stop at least try it for a while, it's a short period of time only 5 days! I'm sure we can't stop hating for 5 days especially now we can keep ourselfs buzy with the tour videos!
Yall gonna drive Beyonceitis crazy, at least do it for him, look how nice he's been to us lately, updating every week, before your asses would've been lucky if he give you a post a month! so do it for Beyonceitis, it's his b'day, he just won an award & he doesn't get paid for this shit!
APPRECIATE HIM!

H.C said...

I mean CAN stop hating...

Mealy said...

......iightt wateva....

but aint gonn like it
something juss don't feel right about this. apocalypse is gone come the day stan refuse to stan.

Beyonceitis said...

H.C said...
@ 6:17
LMFAO!!
people you need to stop at least try it for a while, it's a short period of time only 5 days! I'm sure we can't stop hating for 5 days especially now we can keep ourselfs buzy with the tour videos!
Yall gonna drive Beyonceitis crazy, at least do it for him, look how nice he's been to us lately, updating every week, before your asses would've been lucky if he give you a post a month! so do it for Beyonceitis, it's his b'day, he just won an award & he doesn't get paid for this shit!
APPRECIATE HIM!
--------------------

Thank you HC.

When I snap and come back shooting up the place I'll make sure that the bullet only grazes you.

Deon said...

So, since I know you won't reply in the new thread because this is the newest post. I had figured out your identity a while back and then you told me it wasn't you, when I asked who you were. Well I thought I did. I was wrong, because you're "VP." Who the hell is Stooge? and I KNEW Mother Winslow was the lady/guy from lilcreolepimp. They post exactly alike. You post like vp, too. No one on the board had figured out it was you, then? Had I have been posting regularly in your heyday I would have figured it out. Now all I need to know who the hell Fresh(crunktastical.net).

Ya'll three ladies (or gents; cause ya'll will NEVER tell), are HILARIOUS!

Come to California and we'll have Coffee. Or I'll see you guys in NY, or ATL for my vacation next week.


All of THAT aside, congrats on your award. This post had me just like... oh the laughter, about a fourth of the way through it. The tour will be spoiled for you, but what I realized, is that Beyonce has a way of captivating us that videos of her tour just can't do.

I saw her costume in a grainy youtube video, it was NOT hot, then I saw it in a high definition picture, and it was THE BUSINESS. Besides, she will change it all by the time we see it in the U.S.

Beyonceitis said...

So, since I know you won't reply in the new thread because this is the newest post. I had figured out your identity a while back and then you told me it wasn't you, when I asked who you were. Well I thought I did. I was wrong, because you're "VP." Who the hell is Stooge? and I KNEW Mother Winslow was the lady/guy from lilcreolepimp. They post exactly alike. You post like vp, too. No one on the board had figured out it was you, then? Had I have been posting regularly in your heyday I would have figured it out. Now all I need to know who the hell Fresh(crunktastical.net).

Ya'll three ladies (or gents; cause ya'll will NEVER tell), are HILARIOUS!

Come to California and we'll have Coffee. Or I'll see you guys in NY, or ATL for my vacation next week.


All of THAT aside, congrats on your award. This post had me just like... oh the laughter, about a fourth of the way through it. The tour will be spoiled for you, but what I realized, is that Beyonce has a way of captivating us that videos of her tour just can't do.

I saw her costume in a grainy youtube video, it was NOT hot, then I saw it in a high definition picture, and it was THE BUSINESS. Besides, she will change it all by the time we see it in the U.S.

------------------

3 Stooges = 2 Fish + 1 sausage (me)

I realized that Beyonce and Solange could have posted nude pictures in the GC and people wouldn't have known it because some people have NEVER left the Beyonce section. But such is life...

And I REFUSE to be spoiled (but I heard the first verse of 'EGO' live...)

H.C said...

Beyonceitis said...

Thank you HC.

When I snap and come back shooting up the place I'll make sure that the bullet only grazes you.
-----------------------------

*Already dead*

Ratchet said...

See, I just don't know about this. Y'all ain't got to deal with foolish, angry, j-setting black queens on a message board all the time, hating all the damn time because Bey has the power they and their favorite artists cannot get...

Here's a sample topic:
"If Keri Hilson & Beyonce Faught... Who would win???"

:| :| :| :| :|

MJ said...

Can we talk slick about Keri Hilson and her $2.09 poisonous mushroom wigs with purchase of KFC Family meal?

Deon said...

3 Stooges = 2 Fish + 1 sausage (me)

I realized that Beyonce and Solange could have posted nude pictures in the GC and people wouldn't have known it because some people have NEVER left the Beyonce section. But such is life...

And I REFUSE to be spoiled (but I heard the first verse of 'EGO' live...)
----------
Oh! I'm mad it took me that long to get it. So the other first is Fresh. I NEVER thought that the lilcreolepimp person was a girl. I'm upset I was that slow on the uptake. And I'm still upset with myself after all this time, I didn't know that you were really a guy. I'm also sad I never got the link to that "site" because I always wanted it, lol. I just logged off that day before I could see it, and I forgot to come back to the thread. I never posted it in, because I didn't feel as though I should mess up all the good jokes in there.

"I realized that Beyonce and Solange could have posted nude pictures in the GC and people wouldn't have known it because some people have NEVER left the Beyonce section"
HAHA, basically, in reference to that thread, there was so much nekkidness going on, and no, no one ever leaves the Beyonce section. But I mean, there aren't too many funny people that are in other sections of the board, and aside from hilarity, and news about Beyonce, then yeah.

It'sJustTheInternetSilly said...

Mealy is that one aunt or uncle that EVERYONE has who just don't give a fuck and will be stubborn as all get out when it comes to someone threatening the fam and/or talking slick. LMAO

Oh: and I forgot to mention the WIC coupon comment...haaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha!

Deon said...

"Can we talk slick about Keri Hilson and her $2.09 poisonous mushroom wigs with purchase of KFC Family meal?"


---------------------
M.J., I doubt it.

As part of the treaty we should respect her. She's written a considerable amount of hits, and come tomorrow, her album sales may surprise us all.

It'sJustTheInternetSilly said...

@ MJ: Nah. You see, Keri was being wreckless so she and her "stans" (who I don't believe are actual stans as much as a collection of Beyonce haters) can get what they have coming.
She is probably currently the 2nd most relevant behind C-Error (but I love that new song) stans...for the moment.

Shad Fierce said...

Ratchet said...
See, I just don't know about this. Y'all ain't got to deal with foolish, angry, j-setting black queens on a message board all the time, hating all the damn time because Bey has the power they and their favorite artists cannot get...

Here's a sample topic:
"If Keri Hilson & Beyonce Faught... Who would win???"
--------------------------
The sad part is that I know EXACTLY what and where you're talking about...

A lady can't even do a decent dickhunt without having to defend Sasha Fierce. SMH

Hating ass, messy-ass queens...

MJ said...

Oh, well then... *plays Hello by Sasha Fierce*

not Anonymous anymore said...

hahaha!! i love love LOVE you!!! the "cris brown combo" KILLED me. i'll give peace a chance. but only for with Ciara stans, everyone else is still fair game.

Buffy the Homewrecker Slayer said...

The Haters are in full force to hate on Beyonce concert! aka the Britney stans are hating becuz Beyonce's tour is better than their idol Britney's!!!

Cookies and Punch said...

Not all gay men love Beyonce. Only attractive gay men love Beyonce. Unattractive gay men prefer other artists

That line reminds me of The Skorpion Show.

Beyonceitis said...

Cookies and Punch said...
Not all gay men love Beyonce. Only attractive gay men love Beyonce. Unattractive gay men prefer other artists

That line reminds me of The Skorpion Show.

--------------------------------

Me and You = Eye to Eye.

tootie said...

did deon just say he knows vp, and winslow but who is stooge.


someone needs flashcards

Beyonceitis said...

tootie said...
did deon just say he knows vp, and winslow but who is stooge.


someone needs flashcards
--------------------------
Stop abusing my "loyal readers". Don't make turn the hose on you Tootie.

tootie said...

*sigh* i gotta behave in here too. Bullshittery!!

good day!!!




I SAID GOOD DAY!!!!

Tayda/Mother Winslow said...

Blogger Jewelry Rockstar said...

I'm wit Smitty it's code Red the tour has begun. Gotta watch these bitches! Especially Rih-Rih stans, they're on the prowl every since the lump head photo has been released. They are looking to bash Ms.Bey cause their chick got smashed around.
----

Now wait just a damn minute...


As the stooge that portrays Deena in "The Stooges Present... Dreamgirls: Redux", I need to call you on your shit, ho.

Excuse me for calling you a hoe, for I am putting my Mother Winslow wig and Mother Winslow is a bad lil' broad... I ain't seen her in a minute... Since the all-star game and I'm still tryna hit it. [<--???]

Look, chile. You got one more GD time to side talk that precious po' child. She didn't ask to get oops'd upside her head... Did she?

No... SHE DID NOT!

She may have answered his phone, but that was his old lady and that comes with the territory of being in a relationship that crosses the Dec 31 - Jan 1 line. If your relationship crosses a "yearline"... a bitch has some exclusive status and exclusive rights.

I don't care if you met the bitch on December 30... And she went thru your phone at 1AM Jan 1... That is your bitch now... You shoulda been thinking instead of drinking. And hoeing...

What if yo' nigga just came over there and took a mason jar and beat your temples in with it? Hmm? Would that shit be praiseworthy? Would it be blog commentable? Would you mind Kisha, Toya, Brenda, or Kim running back and forth saying you got that ass Rick James'd?

Hmm?

Hmm?

Talk now, ho. Talk now.

ms. morgana said...

The little boy in your gravatar has the best beyonceitis immune system i've ever seen. he should be selling whatever vitamins he's taking (side eye) to some of these r&b chicks.

(and that's the nicest way I could put it.)...see I tried.

Beyonceitis said...

ms. morgana said...
The little boy in your gravatar has the best beyonceitis immune system i've ever seen. he should be selling whatever vitamins he's taking (side eye) to some of these r&b chicks.

(and that's the nicest way I could put it.)...see I tried.
---------------------

He is totally unaffected by the power of Sasha Fierce, and is giving her HELL in her own damn photo. He is my hero.

Anonymous said...

Interesting about the gay attractive men since Perez Hilton and Kevin (skorpion) don't seem too fond of Queen Creole....

Rihanna is fair game. I shall not rest on my laurels as long as the world foolishly believes that Pon de Forehead has never bleached and that she has ever sported her real hair. Heck Rihtarded has used so much weave it has RAPED and RAVAGED her hair at the sides of that 10 head of hers!!!!

Her stans INSIST...at least Rihanna doesn't wear weaves. Um are you blind or has the world gone mad?!

Deon said...

did deon just say he knows vp, and winslow but who is stooge.


someone needs flashcards
-------
That did make me slow on the uptake to not grasp all of that situation. Yes, I will admit that.



The little boy in your gravatar has the best beyonceitis immune system i've ever seen. he should be selling whatever vitamins he's taking (side eye) to some of these r&b chicks.

(and that's the nicest way I could put it.)...see I tried.
--------
OMG, AHAHAH! I'm done. That was hilarious. And whoever said, "he's giving her a run for her money in her own photoshoot," is my hero.

It'sJustTheInternetSilly said...

I saw that picture and about died! He will be a leotard and Reynolds Wrap kid this Halloween! She needs to take him on tour.
LMAO@ Tayda/Mother Winslow. You ain't shit for that!!!

It'sJustTheInternetSilly said...

P.S.: The name is Webbie nigga...not Weebie! lol

NewComer! Fierce said...

LOL!!

Alycat said...

OMG I can't !!!!
I just can't stand Rihanna's dereon ass ! I can't admit that gggb was good!
Ella Ella Hell no!

I'll try !

Anonymous said...

OMG NO I ENJOY STANNING FOR BEYONCE SOME OF THOSE BITCHES LIKE C-ERROR NEEDS TO BE PUT IN THEIR PLACE LOL BUT I WILL FOLLOW AND LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS WAS A REALLY GOOD LAUGH AND LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AT THE LAST PART

Ratchet said...

I'm sorry y'all.
I can't do it.
I'm just addicted...
I mean I caught this girl in a lie about Beyoncé today and got her so mad she was "Speechless". It was priceless...

FxkeryImmune said...

I can't..agree to that alien princess clause, I have too much fun saying she basically fails at life except for the clothes other people pick out for her.


my mcdonalds combo with Ms. Kelly included > Rihanna. nuff said.

Anonymous said...

Amerie let Beyonce have it in this video yall!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPKWWYLA0bg

Damn this was too funny,

Miju said...

Hate is saying something like "Beyonce's (expletive word for female genitalia) smells like a 3rd world country

=======

LMFAO

But you left out A.KEYS....oh thats right shes the only one thats been KILLIN BEYONCE!

mimi dope said...

WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE OTHER STAN WARS? WE ARE HERE TO TALK ABOUT BEYONCE BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTER AT THE END OF THE DAY. IT'S JUST A FACT.

this was soooo funny <3

grace said...

omgg lol this is funny!! okay i agree i still might have to diss some flop artist and yeah i would never pay to see rihanna i wouldnt wanna go through the pain of her voice.... but one prob i cant help butt slay any beyonce haters i feel its my duty to stick up for her :s and that i will always support her :)

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