The I Am...Tour Is....Not Selling Well

The Wigcrypt Research department (Google) has learned that the I Am...Tour is flopping all around the world.

This screencap shows that the first show in Zagreb, Croatia is... Sold Out.

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Oh.


Well this screencap shows that the show in Belgium is... Sold Out

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Damn.

Well in Germany her shows are NOT sold out...but the best available seats are damn near out in the parking lot.

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Those Germans must love Sasha Fierce... Schei├če!

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Well in the Netherlands Her Show Flopped So Hard They....Added a 2nd Show...


And in Ireland They Hate Her So Much They.... Added 3 shows...

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How About Spain....

Wow...That's an awful lot of rojo in that picture... Viva la Sasha Fierce!

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Well in the UK the tour is flopping so hard...

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Wow...








Happy Early April's Fools!

The moral of this story, haters, is if your favorite artist can't sell out Chuck E. Cheese playrooms, you should not be concerned about whether or not Beyonce sells out in the first minute. So therefore I suggest you watch your mouth and stop tryna act like you are better than everybody else before I put a ring around yo' damn eye!

And stans, Beyonce is not going to sell out every ticket of every show, No artist does, not even Madonna sold out EVERY SHOW, and usually she sells out everywhere(even though her tickets cost $10,000 and a left testicle). So chillax.

Now, if you guys are done acting like a bunch of illiterate, hyperactive, gay monkeys, I think I'll go get me some nachos... You want anything?

(Goes back to the Peace Treaty)


48 comments:

tootie said...

my usual, reese cups, cherry coke and a strawberry black n mild. Please.


hyperactive gay monkeys...wowwwww


also it has been request and voted upon by some of the old crew that u get ur self a twittah. or continue to have me spam ur damn comment boxes with things that have nothin to do with nothin. Imma make a maury movie tonight and another wayne movie. Imma get an oscar b4 Bey!!

Baby Oprah said...

Couldn't have put it better myself.

Beyonceitis said...

tootie said...
my usual, reese cups, cherry coke and a strawberry black n mild. Please.

hyperactive gay monkeys...wowwwww

also it has been request and voted upon by some of the old crew that u get ur self a twittah.
-----------------------

Twitter is of the devil.

Anonymous said...

Dont act like yall dont be keeping up with Solange on twitter.

Cookie and Punch said...

Dont act like yall dont be keeping up with Solange on twitter.

tootie said...

Twitter is of the devil.
-----------------------
what did Satan B. Robinson ever do to u?! sign up ho.

Beyonceitis said...

Cookie and Punch said...
Dont act like yall dont be keeping up with Solange on twitter.
---------------------------
Looooooooooooooooooool...

If Solange gives me a shout-out then I will get a Twitter account...

Beyonceitis said...

tootie said...
Twitter is of the devil.
-----------------------
what did Satan B. Robinson ever do to u?! sign up ho.
------------------------------

I ain't a killa but don't push me...
I'll tear Twitter up...

Hadley Street Peasant said...

LOL this must be sarcasm! The Queen still reigns!

tootie said...

------------------------------

I ain't a killa but don't push me...
I'll tear Twitter up...
----------
imma push yo ass right off that office chair. I double dog dare u to get a twitter.

(background noise) ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. lol

tootie said...

Dont act like yall dont be keeping up with Solange on twitter.
-----------------------
i follow that retard.

beyonceitis STAN said...

I thought and prayed about it to all the creole gods. and have decided that i just can't do the treaty. Not now. Like someone said,we are at code red right now. A Sasha Ferice Rep got haters to SHUT DOWN.

It'sJustTheInternetSilly said...

You ain't no good for that Martin video! That made my day though thank you!

I love that some person had the nerve to say that Beyonce has been flopping lately (Diva and Halo) and when I begrudgingly showed them Billboard numbers they said "Her standards aren't as low as other artists so those are flops for her." Oh, word? Since when did Beyonce become superhuman? Ugh. Whatever.

Anyways thank you for updating. And I guess I'm out of the loop but WTH is Twitter? Seriously. Is it like "Almost-Facebook" or something?

Anonymous said...

This blog is the best and you are the greatest (who ever you are)

Signed,

Bitch Ass Anonymous and Grown Ass Woman.

H.C said...

It'sJustTheInternetSilly said...
And I guess I'm out of the loop but WTH is Twitter? Seriously. Is it like "Almost-Facebook" or something?

------------------------------
Twitter is basically the dream of every stalker in this world.




illiterate, hyperactive, gay monkeys!! wow, that's the least you can say!
I almost fall of my chair when I saw a new post today, so I guess this is it, the end of the world is comming. I better start praying god for forgiveness.

The Wise Fortune Teller said...

Yes just as I predicted Beyonce's tour will do great.

Now for another prediction.
I see....
a.......
war......
a huge war...........
a stan war..........
between the...the

.....aww hell! My visions cloudy! I dont know what stans are going to be battling but I know Queen Creole will be left out of it! These things will come to past in the near future.

Heed my warning and be prepared!

(tosses root powder for protection)

~Madame Sophia

Beyonceitis said...

tootie said...
------------------------------

I ain't a killa but don't push me...
I'll tear Twitter up...
----------
imma push yo ass right off that office chair.
----------------------

You know Beyonce re-posessed my furniture. I'm sitting Indian-style on the floor like I'm the 1s grade.

Anonymous said...

She will never be Madonna. Madonna looked at her and sang "she's not me!" and snatched off Beyonce's wig lol

Jaz said...

Dont act like yall dont be keeping up with Solange on twitter.
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i follow that retard.

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me too


and thats funny how beyonce isnt doing well by some peoples standards if she hasnt sold out every single seat at every single concert in every city around the world.

ms. morgana said...

i love when I come to the wigcrypt expecting to get my cheap chuckles from the comment section, only to find that our savior has blessed us with a new post. my only question is.......WHEN'S SHE GON BLESS US WIT SOME OF DEM AMERICAN TOUR DATES? HUH?

and i follow solange on twitter, it's more fun to actually read her tweets when she does them than to check every knowles-hatin blog on the interweb the next day and see them taken out of context.

Anonymous said...

Please Beyonceitis get a Twitter account!!!!!!! One you send the STAN signal out in the Twittersphere they come a flocking and we all congregate and talk about our love for Queen Creole and defend her honor to no end!

Anonymous said...

& i don't wanna sign anything!

if ignit people are gonna give the Queen a hard time then i have to do the same. they never quit

DivaSheIsNot said...

She is Sasha Flop.

roflmaooooooo Super Stans are going above and beyonce to prove their fading idol is still relevant.

Who cares about overseas when she can't even sell out the first couple sets???? Isn't that what builds the hype? Sony is deeper in debt now because she wanted to fly around like Peter Pan, lip synching. Lordy, lord, the stans are delusional.

BeYawnSay is not the hottest chick in the game. She is working hard to stay relevant. Truth be told, people didn't even know she was touring and many still don't.

She rushed and tried to follow Britney's lead, but Britney was tight, her tour dates dropped when her album dropped! LOL, then the next week BeYawnSay announced she was touring.

Have you see her Umbrella water-effects water commercial??? LMFAOOOOO I bet she came up with the concept. Eh, eh, eh!

It'sJustTheInternetSilly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. FAMU said...

I wanna know one thing:

Is Sheneneh being cut a check for her quotes lol. Cuz this the 2nd day in a row you done cited my girl (she has the best quotes yes). But make sure my girl getting a piece of the pie, its hard out there in chicago apartments and beauty salons are being hit hard by the recession.

Love the blog!

Animal Control said...

^^Sandra Rose is that you? What did I tell you about leaving your cage!!!! Get back in there you varmint!!!

http://www.beloblog.com/KHOU_Animal_Attraction/animalattraction/ugly%20dog-thumb.jpg

Tina Knowles said...

Who cares about overseas when she can't even sell out the first couple sets???? Isn't that what builds the hype?
-
BeYawnSay is not the hottest chick in the game. She is working hard to stay relevant. Truth be told, people didn't even know she was touring and many still don't.

She rushed and tried to follow Britney's lead, but Britney was tight, her tour dates dropped when her album dropped! LOL, then the next week BeYawnSay announced she was touring.

Have you see her Umbrella water-effects water commercial??? LMFAOOOOO I bet she came up with the concept. Eh, eh, eh!
------------------------

First of all you contradicted yourself about 5 times in 4 paragraphs. Congratulations.

First you criticize Beyonce's "low" tickets sales, but then you justify the sales by saying "nobody knows that she is touring".

Here is why nobody knows that she is touring.




U.S. DATES HAVE NOT BEEN ANNOUNCED.

And people DO know she's touring because insecure stans of failing artists (like yourself) know everything Beyonce does before she even thinks it. You people were the first ones on YouTube Friday morning, and first ones looking for tour reviews.

Y'all know more about Beyonce than stans do. Beyonce is so boring to you then the water commercial (which doesn't even air in this country) or a concert in West Canada wouldn't even be on your radar.

You think it's pathetic being a Beyonce stan? It's more pathetic being a closeted Beyonce stan.

MJ said...

Yo, can I get some sour cream and chedder chips, a tahitian treat, and a honey bun...



I wanna go to The Sasha Fierce Experience...

Mickey said...

lol you should mention the fact that I Am Sasha Fierce... has sold more than both Madonna and Britney Spears' current 'efforts'.

The Beyonce effect has moved beyond infecting R&B Divas, honey.

Jaz said...

i was just watching dancing with the stars right now and a commercial break started.
the 1st commercial out of 4 was for obsessed with beyonce.
and the 3rd was a loreal commercial with.... solange and beyonce.

i didnt see any ciara, rihanna, brandy, alicia keys, ashanti, kelly rowland, or keri hilson commercials after that. just 2 of beyonce. i guess thats why all these other stans are so bitter.(5:59pm)=/

and to 5:59 beyonce will NEVER be irrelevant (even if she wanted to) because of people like you! ironic huh?

lildrummerboi said...

Yeesssss Tina... I knew somebody would come in here and set that fool str8.

::goes back to my corner::

Deon said...

"But I'm a lady I keep my clothes on... But honey, your do is done, but I could hook you up though."

All Beyonce has to say is that she is selling tickets, a chang-a-lang-langgg.

Beyonceitis said...

"But I'm a lady I keep my clothes on... But honey, your do is done, but I could hook you up though."

All Beyonce has to say is that she is selling tickets, a chang-a-lang-langgg.
------------------------

(collapses)

melissa said...

lmao!!!

Anonymous said...

samsung
NINTENDO
ARMANI
WATER
...CARTOONS ????

0.°
SASHA ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Anonymous said...

"this is MY water."
LMAO!

Anonymous said...

to 5:48
i think its cute that shes gonna be in a kids cartoon! I live with my nephew(hes 3) and he LOVES "Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!"
I can't believe Matthew is putting her on Nick Jr. now though. I guess he wants people to be surrounded by her and familiar with her voice at a younger age! lol
Shes tryna have more baby stans (and the little gay babies) crawling around now

Cookies and Punch said...

Matthew Knowles leaves no are untouch.

Cookies and Punch said...

I meant no areas untouch.

Rachel said...

"And stans, Beyonce is not going to sell out every ticket of every show, No artist does,"

Michael Jackson did.

Anonymous said...

not related to the topic, but am I the only one that loves "Smash in to you"? definitely my fav song on the album. i just LOVE her voice in this song.

Peaches said...

@Rachel said...

"And stans, Beyonce is not going to sell out every ticket of every show, No artist does,"

Michael Jackson did.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael Jackson Stans are far more obbessive than Beyonce stans

Anonymous said...

I think what he was trying to say that no artist has every sold out every ticket of every show the have ever done in their entire career. Not even Michael Jackson.

Tayda said...

You know what... I did not read this post yet (I'm currently under some man right now), but judging from the title... I'm gonna blame Beyonce and this damn recession... And I would like to solve the puzzle.

Anonymous said...

9:44 AM
When i firstheard the album,my fav was AVE MARIA and then DISSAPEAR.After 2 months,i fall in love with SATELLITES and now SMASH INTO YOU is my song :-D
but DISSAPEAR STILL MY FAV

Anonymous said...

1 year of marriage...congrats

Ramona said...

This is crazy. Why do you have to put other artists down to defend the one you love? It's childish and eceryone is entitled to their own opinion, whether we agree or not. I guess I don't need to visit this site anymore. I'm way too mature for this BS.

Anonymous said...

I don't like Beyonce. Too much of her everywhere I go. OVER EXPOSURE!