In Defense of Alicia Keys...

"The other woman got feelings too."

--- Jill Scott

"Close your legs to married men."

---Nene Leakes

[NOTE: I'm kinda late on this, but with Matthew Knowles taping his segment on Maury Povich today and Tina Knowles bringing Solange's 1992 Acura Integra to a real slow creep around Alexsandra Wright's neighborhood, I feel like this is an appropriate time to talk about whorish activities.]


Because Beyonce is busy touring and not getting pregnant, Alicia Keys knows that it is safe to come out of musical hibernation. She is scheduled to release her album on December 1, 2009. If she were any other R&B McChicken that album release date would be pushed back to July 17, 2027, but there's a very good chance that Alicia Keys' album will actually be released on time. That's because Alicia is different... or at least she was supposed to be.

In a month or two Alicia will hit the promo trail. She'll go to 106 and nem. She'll go on the Today Show, The Early Show, The 3:45 Show, Good Morning America, Git Yo' Black Ass Up, all the other morning shows and talk shows. And she will probably perform a couple of cuts off her new album. And she'll talk all about her new album. She'll talk all about the "artistic inspiration" behind her new music. She may talk about her work with Whtiney Houston, and maybe even mention all of her numerous philanthropic efforts . One thing she will NOT talk about is exactly how long she's been sucking married penis.

This will be the elephant in the room. But thankfully for her she's protected by Clive Davis and very aggressive publicists so she won't have to answer any awkward questions. But for the people on the nigganet and the people who bought into her image, Alicia still has a lot of explaining to do.

If you are a loyal reader then you would know that I like Alicia. In the past when people have accused Beyonce fans of hating on every other female artist we could say: "We're not haters. We like Alicia Keys." Alicia has generally been a friend to the Wig Compound. She and Beyonce toured together in 2004, she has publicly given glory to the name of Sasha Fierce, and she has never told Beyonce to go sit down and have babies. She has learned early in her career that fat meat is greasy, so she doesn't release albums in the middle of Hurricane Sasha season. Because she has been such a good friend to the Knowles Klan the Creole Gods have rewarded her and career, and she has been allowed to break bread and roll blunts with Beyonce, Celestine and the Gang.

I spent 4 of my very crisp $20 bills to see Alicia last year at the Verizon Center. I went with a hardcore Alicia stan. When the concert was over I was fairly entertained. On an entertainment scale of Brooke Hogan to Beyonce it was a Kylie Minogue.5. Not bad at all.

But my friend, the Alicia stan, was clearly disappointed. "It was good...but she sounded funny", she said. "Like she was singing from her face." "Something wasn't right."

I knew what she was trying to say. Although people accuse Beyonce of being over-packaged and over-marketed to compensate for certain deficiencies Alicia is just as packaged and marketed but in a different way. The truth is when you see past the packaging, the marketing, and the Aretha and Roberta Flack rehashings Alicia Keys = Beyonce + a piano, minus rhythm and vocal control. But we have long been programmed to believe that "real music" comes in certain packaging.

Which is not to say that she is not talented, because she is clearly very talented. She has been apart of some of the best songs written this decade (which may or may not be saying much), and she brought live instruments back to the Autotune generation. People had positioned Alicia to be something of a saviour of "real" R&B music. She was proof that you can be commercially successful and still sing about "deep" things.

Because of that positioning and packaging it may have come as a shock and disappointment to her followers and observers when it was uncovered that Alicia had been carrying on an illicit (yep, illicit) affair with a very married man.

Not Alicia!

Not Miss Karma!

She's deep!

She's real!

She's not some tarted-up whore shaking her ass like the rest of the girls.

She was supposed to be different.

She had braids!

WITH BEADS!

SAY IT AIN'T SO!

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(sigh)

When the story broke I of course immediately thought of Beyonce. The Alicia Keys scandal hasn't really infiltrated to mainstream media outlets, but I knew that if it were Beyonce then it would get around-the-clock, September 11th-type coverage. The stans would probably try to defend Beyonce. Something like: "Beyonce didn't mean to sleep with a married man, she just tripped and fell on his dick. Stop hating! You're just mad because she has 10 Grammys!"

Me personally, I really didn't care. Alicia Keys' love life has no direct affect on me as a person. I have this funny little habit of stanning for talent a little more than personality. Which is not to say that Alicia's personality (or perceived personality) doesn't play a part in why I like her so much. Alicia appeared to be a cool ass chick, somebody that you not only wanted to hang out with but would probably let you hang out with her. But the truth is Alicia could be the rudest person in the world and fuck every hip-hop producer in the industry and it still won't change her skills as a musician and songwriter.

In reality, an attractive personality and/or image can go a long way especially if there's not a talented person attached to it. If you were to make a list of your 5 favorite artists there are probably better singers and/or entertainers than everybody on your list (if you think objectively) but most people don't think objectively. We like to project ourselves onto our celebrity idols, and in turn we want to see part of ourselves in them. In the minds of most fans when they buy albums and concert tickets they are also buying a share of a celebrity's personal life. So, as a celebrity it's important to do all the things your fans would do if they were in your shoes. So you can understand somebody's disappointment when it is uncovered that Alicia had been having an affair, or that maybe Beyonce didn't call Jennifer Hudson after her family tragedy, or maybe Ciara is really a Bird In The Chicken House. That is why we make statements: like "I lost respect for (INSERT ARTIST) when she (INSERT SHADY ASS ACTIVITY).

In reality all these artists owe us is entertainment, and none of what they do off-stage is really any of our business. But as much as we say we want "real artists" doing "real music" what we really want is friends and pleasant personalities. It's just another form another form of celebrity worship. So that list you made of your 5 favorite entertainers is really the list of the 5 celebrities you want to hang out with.

If you are personally upset by the Alicia Keys scandal that would be proof that you have invested feelings in her which transcend entertainment.

The reaction I've seen from some of her stans is almost as if you caught your pastor coming out of a whorehouse with crack crumbs on his mouth. People who had bought into the Alicia Keys packaging may have felt betrayed, but in reality she was just an entertainer who did something that ordinary people do every day. So why are we making a big deal?

The truth is as much people accuse Beyonce stans of worshipping her, celebrity worship exists with "deeper" artists as well. It is not spoken because much in the same way that these artists are packaged to be above and greater than worldly things their fans position themselves in the same way. This Alicia Keys+ Married Penis Scandal has brought to light the fact that that the line between "real artist" and "packaged personality" is not has wide as we thought it was. Whether or not they wear blond extensions or beaded braids if you are trying to sell albums or concert tickets you are packaged and marketed to appease a certain audience.

To better understand this allow me to go back in time.

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Picture it. 1998.

Sixth grade.

Every girl I knew who didn't aspire to live the rest of their lives in Chittlinwash, North Carolina working at Bojangles bought the "Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" album. It was and still is a masterpiece. Lyrically and musically it was textured in a way that was not permissible in late-90's R&B/Hip-Hop. If you were a girl lost in the world, or trying to find your way, Miss Hill pretty much laid down the law. It was seen by many as a manual on the right and wrong way for a black woman to conduct herself.

DVD skip ahead a couple of years. It turns out it was all a lie. That's not who she was. It had been an illusion. She realized that the "Miseduaction" Lauyrn Hill was not who she was or wanted to sell to the public so she rejected that image. That may have been all well and good for her, but what about the girls I had grown up with? The ones that patterned their lives after the lyrics of that album. The ones that had stopped buying boxes of "Gentle Treatment" relaxer and started rocking dreads, twists, and Florida Evans afros. What about the ones who were unsure of how they could change a world they didn't fit into? Because of this album things made a little more sense to them. They latched on to Lauryn's perceived sense of self and made it their own.

But Lauryn said it was all a lie.

Were they wrong too?

I don't think so.

Another option for those girls that I grew up with would have been to stop letting entertainers define their morals, self-worth, and self-esteem. Let who you are be defined by your live experiences instead of a CD booklet. There's nothing wrong with turning to music to reinforce your strength or self-worth, but in order to reinforce it that means a sense of self-worth already has to be there. And when you depend on packaged personalities to give you standards to live up to you set yourself up for disappointment, especially when they can't even live up to those standards.

The best thing for us to do as fans of music is to get to the place where we support artists for their art as opposed to their personalities, hairstyles, or personal lives. That way we won't be disappointed when we find out that who they are off-stage is a sharp contradiction to what they appear to be onstage.

That's part of what I was trying to explain to my disappointed friend last year as we walked out of the Alicia Keys concert. She was disappointed by Alicia's vocal shortcomings that night. I tried to explain to her that for a live vocalist it is difficult to deliver the same amount emotion and conviction every night, so try to forgive her for not sounding exactly like her albums. In much of the same way it may be also difficult to live up to the demands and expectations of fans who see you as a saviour rather as an entertainer. When you present an image or a way of life that you don't live up to, you might not only disappoint yourself, but the people who follow you. I'm not defending her right to be a whore, I'm just defending her right to be human.

LISTEN : Jill Scott - My Love (live)





----------------------------------


73 comments:

Peter said...

once again you're right on the money. See you in DC. Isn't this post #101. congrats.

Billy said...

you gonna make me cry with that post. As always you speak the truth. I LOVE YOU!

Beyonce is not the female version of Jesus Christ said...

Welcome back !

To quote the prophet Christina Milian:"Never jugde a book by it's cover".

Superwhore is an human.period
I cant blame her for lacking morality when most of her songs preach morality and Romantic values.It's like blaming beysus not to be a partygoer when most of her biggest songs are dance hits.

It doesnt matter

But people need to stop calling other women "slut" "bitch" "hoe" because they are not frightened by the idea of dancing in a leotard,hitting the street in spandex pants even if they are with the same man for years ;when a real HOE got a blue jumpsuit in her karma video,singing about things she dont know the meaning.

I'm tired of being labeled because of what I likes to wear/go/listen

Just my 2 cents.

MJ said...

This post is on point. People tend to put the idols on pedestals, and bathe them in shining white sunlight... when, in reality, they're just like the majority of the planet: complicated, will fuck up sometimes, and want to be happy or left alone.

H.C said...

I completely agree.
I too was & still is a fan of Alicia, The way she conduct her personal life does not concern me nor affect me in any way, her music does though, it affects me in a postive way, and that's all that matters.

H.C said...

Welcome back, we missed you!

KleanKlear_Kontrol said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
IamDiego said...

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IamDiego said...

Ima Keep It Short But This Post Was ONe Of If Not The Best Post That U Have Ever Created And u are a really talented person... Ur Post's are always worth the wait and i never want them to be over!!!

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Misty Knight said...

Some Of The Realist Shyt Ever Wrote.
im not usually one for "dickriding" well not figuratively anyway, but as usual your posts are brilliant, see ya next month!

Anonymous said...

Yayyyyy, a new post!!
Anyway, I do admit when I first heard the rumblings of this story I (like most people I knew) thought it was some bs. Mostly because, who in the world would want some Swizz Beats? Secondly because, isnt Alicia Keyes gay?? But of course as we now all know this story is very true, letter from the scorned woman posted on Twitter and everything.....wow. I did realize by my surprise at the story that I bought into the "hype" of Alicia Keyes. Shes supposed to be this renaissance, poetic, creative, love the children, has actual talent, not- afraid -to- rock- beads type of star. But now we see she likes a lil married penis in her coffee. Honestly, who cares. I dont like her music any less. I like her a little less, but I doubt she cares.
And as a woman who has been in mashondas shoes, I know she looks extremely tacky and immature right now, as she continues to put their business on front street (I wouldnt even KNOW about this story if it wasnt for her constant radio interviews and twitter rants). BUT there is a moment of anger and lack of clarity where you blame the other woman for your hurt. I know it makes no sense, but its true. So I kinda feel for mashonda, because she definitely has not moved out of that space yet..... I expect to see a commercial of her in a bathrobe with pink rollers in her hair reading her twitter "open letter" anyday now.

Anonymous said...

Hoelicia keys is so irrelevent.dont nobody care about them.thtas their business.but anyway, someone should make some 'I stan for beyonce" an i heart kanye shirts.that has nothing to do with the topic, but is more relevent than alicia.

Jaz said...

I love you! I agree 100% with everything you just said. I like certain songs by artists that are alleged satanists, preachers of Christ & Allah Mary & everything in between. You can't go on youtube without 95 "subliminal messages" videos popping up. I believe theres a difference between loving music in general and loving an individuals' beliefs. You can separate the two and still enjoy the music. And if you're brainwashed by a celebrity's agendas that easily and base your life off of them, your dumb ass probably deserves to be controlled anyway.

Q, Truly said...

boy

u went DEEP...

& i love u 4 it

ted said...

u always top yourself like beyonce.

Anonymous said...

hmmm is alicia afraid to release an album the same time as beyonce or is beyonce afraid to release an album the same time as alicia??? i personally believe its the latter.

MARIAH CAREY said...

DID YALL FORGET TO BUY MY ALBUM??? YOU MEAN I DRESSED UP LIKE EMINEM FOR NOTHING! DAMN IT! (SIGH) BACK TO THE LAB!

LETOYA said...

^^^^^GIRL QUIT WHINING AT LEAST YOU DONT HAVE TO HOOK ON THE STREET TO PAY FOR YOUR NEXT VIDEO SINCE YOUR LABEL REFUSES TO!

JANET JACKSON said...

SHIT I PRETENDED TO BREAK UP WITH MY PET CHIMP AND NOBODY EVEN GIVES A DAMN! I HATE BEYONCE!

CHRISTINA MILIAN said...

NOT ONLY DID I HAVE TO FUCK FOR TRACKS I HAD TO GET KNOCKED UP FOR TRACKS! DEATH TO BEYONCE!

MYA said...

WELL AT LEAST YOU ARE NOT BUSTING YOUR ASS ON DANCING WITH THE STARS EVERY WEEK JUST TO REMIND PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE STILL ALIVE! WE MUST STOP THIS BITCH!!

JENNIFER HUDSON said...

WELL SHIT I JUST HAD A FUCKIN BABY AND THE HIGHEST OFFER I GOT FOR PHOTOS WAS 10.99

MARY J BLIGE said...

SHIT I JUST RELEASED A SONG CALLED "IM THE ONE" AND I CANT EVEN CRACK THE TOP 20 ON THE HOT 100! HOW EMBARASSING! I GUESS IM NOT THE ONE. (SIGH)

ASHANTI said...

I WENT FROM BEING THE PRINCESS OF HIP HOP & R&B TO BEING THE WAITRESS OF ROSCOE'S CHICKEN N WAFFLES! I WANT TO KILL BEYONCE!

SOLANGE said...

AT LEAST YOU DIDNT HAVE TO SHAVE YOUR ENTIRE FUCKIN HEAD JUST TO GET A SEAT ON OPRAH'S COUCH!

Je'Kendria said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA @ the previous comments!!! But once again...you hit the nail on the head! I loooooooove this blog because you are sooo hilarious, but you still speak the undeniable TROOF!

Irrate Beyonce Stan With Broken Cap Locks Button said...

Anonymous said...
hmmm is alicia afraid to release an album the same time as beyonce or is beyonce afraid to release an album the same time as alicia??? i personally believe its the latter.
-------------------------
BITCH! LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF AND ALICIA CAR KEYS:

1ST OF ALL BEYONCE AIN'T SCARED OF NOTHING BUT GOD, NATURAL HAIR, AND A SHORTAGE OF WINGS AT POPEYE'S.

2ND OF ALL WHEN THEY TOURED WHO CLOSED THE SHOW? BEYONCE! BECAUSE BEYONCE IS IN CHARGE OF THE GIRLS!

3RD OF ALL BEYONCE'S TOUR HAS GROSSED TWICE AS MUCH AS ALICIA'S TOUR.

4TH OF ALL I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT ALICIA ALWAYS MANAGES TO FIND HER "ARTISTIC INSPIRATION" AFTER BEYONCE'S RELEASES HER 4TH SINGLE. (SIDE-EYE)

5TH OF ALL AIN'T NOBODY SCARED OF ALICIA. AND IF MASHONDA CATCHES HER ASS IN THE STREET SHE'S GOING TO LEARN WHAT A GOOD ASS-WHOOPING FEELS LIKE.

6TH OF ALL YOU TRIED IT, AND I COMMEND YOU FOR IT, BUT I SUGGEST YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH AND STOP TYRING TO ACT LIKE YOU ARE BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE IN THIS DAMN COMMENT BOX BEFORE I PUT A RING AROUND YOUR DAMN EYE!

Anonymous said...

when it comes to album sales beyonce isnt even on alicia's level. nuff said.

Anonymous said...

when it comes to album sales beyonce isnt even on alicia's level. nuff said.
--------------------------
but she hasn't been able to sustain. when you factor in the sharp decline of her record sales over the years from the "Songs In A Minor" days to the "As I Am" days Beyonce and Alicia are about even.

"B'Day" and "As I Am" sold about the same worldwide.

"Dangerously in Love" outsold The Diary of Alicia Keys.

The only thing that tips the scale in Alicia's favor is her first album, and (as stated earlier) she has not been able to sustain that momentum nor has she been able to translate album sales into ticket sales as successful as Beyonce's nor have as many successful singles.

Which is not to say that Billboard charts makes anybody better than the other, but you started it. This post was in DEFENSE of Alicia Keys.

Beyonce is not the female version of Jesus Christ said...

@LMAO at the POPWHORE DEBATE :D


(1999)Songs in minor:12 M

(2003)DIL:11 M
(2004)Diary of AK:8 M

(2006)Bday: 7 M
(2007)As I am:4 M

(2008)IASF :+/- 5M ++
(2009)Memories of a Homewrecker:TBA

Dont lie to yourserlf,Just because Aliwhore fuck clive Davis for her plenty grammys dont mean shit HONEY.In Sasha,we trust & Queen bey is the queen !!

H.C said...

LMFAO!!

Anonymous said...

dil - 11 million
b'day - 7 million
sasha fierce - 5 million

where the hell did you get that info from??? lmao!

IRRATE BEYONCE STAN WITH BROKEN CAP LOCKS KEY said...

dil - 11 million
b'day - 7 million
sasha fierce - 5 million

where the hell did you get that info from??? lmao!
----------------------------------
BEYONCE HAS SOLD 756 MILLION COPIES AROUND THE WORLD, AND 12 MILLION ON THE GATDAMN MOON!

I GOT THE RECEIPTS!

DON'T QUESTION A BEYONCE STAN HO!

IF A BEYONCE STAN SAYS SHE SOLD 11 MILLION COPIED THEN SHE SOLD 11 MILLION COPIES!

IF A BEYONCE STAN TELLS YOU A DUCK CAN PULL A TRUCK THEN HOOK THAT FUCKA UP!

I'D HATE FOR YOU TO GET CHRIS BROWNED SO CLOSE TO THE 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF OBAMA'S INAUGURATION!

Anonymous said...

Wow...Toya over at Toya's world tells us how she really feels about Beyonce...look in the comments..

http://toyas-world.net/2009/10/09/rihanna-spotted-shooting-her-new-album-cover/#comments

Anonymous said...

Beyonce was doing her damage with DC when Alicia first came out. Solo wise Beyonce and Alicia have basically been equal in album sales. But Beyonce's singles, tours and movies have been way more successful than Alicia's.

Anonymous said...

Beyonce did contact Jennifer after her family tragedy. Tina said it on E!. Jennifer has said so many wonderful things about Beyonce since that happened, and she was on Oprah saying she had a picture of Beyonce in her house.

Anonymous said...

while i love beyonce she's not on my top 5 artist of all time lists--top 10 for sure though and ju know what, i wouldn't want to hang out with her, she seems quite placid in the personality arena. MJ is however on my top 5 list (even is death) and if he was alive i wouldn't want to kick it w/him either b/c he was so odd. I LOVE Stevie to death but i wouldn't be suprised if he were a bit of a perv although i'd sitll like to pick his brain.

Mashonda in 2007 said...

I'd like to hang out with Alicia Keys. She seems like a cool ass chick.

Whitney Houston in 1989 said...

I really want to hang out with Bobby Brown. He has such a great personality. It seems like we'd get along perfectly.

Rihanna in 2006 said...

I'd like to hang out with Chris Brown. He seems like he knows how to show a lady a good time.

Lassie in 2006 said said...

I'd LOOOOOOVE to hang out with Michael Vick.

Kanye West said...

while i love beyonce she's not on my top 5 artist of all time lists--top 10 for sure though and ju know what, i wouldn't want to hang out with her, she seems quite placid in the personality arena. MJ is however on my top 5 list (even is death) and if he was alive i wouldn't want to kick it w/him either b/c he was so odd. I LOVE Stevie to death but i wouldn't be suprised if he were a bit of a perv although i'd sitll like to pick his brain.
-------------------------

I'm really happy for you and your assumptions but Beyonce has the best personality of all time!

Anonymous said...

It always gets me that people think that Alicia's hair is real because her mom is white. It don't matter how much the thickness and length changes from day to day, right in front of your eyes. Even the braids were fake.

Jaz said...

Fuck Alicia Keys' weaves. Beyonce has one of the best weaves of all time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD7U_ZhI2Jw

Beyonce is not the female version of Jesus Christ said...

@10:44 AM Anonymous

If Beyonceitis say that beyoncé will fly ..she will.
If Jason from Bword.net say that beyoncé is the Queen..she is.
If Ye say that SL(PAROI) is the best vid...........I think you got it.

Now shut the fuck up,I am sending you and Anthrax email right now bitch.

AMERIE said...

COULD YOU GUYS PLEASE BUY MY ALBUM WHEN IT COMES OUT SO THAT I DONT GET DROPPED FROM MY LABEL FASTER THAN A HOOKER'S PANTIES!

TEAIRRA MARI said...

YEAH GETTING DROPPED FROM DEF JAM SUCKS! I WOULD KNOW.

KERI HILSON said...

I CALLED OUT BEYONCE JUST TO GET ATTENTION AND I STILL HAVENT GONE GOLD YET!

CIARA said...

NOT EVEN T-PAIN, YOUNG JEEZY JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE OR MY NEW TITTIES COULD HELP ME SELL RECORDS! I GIVE UP!

BRANDY said...

WELL THE LAST TIME I HAD A HIT IT WAS WITH ANOTHER VEHICLE!

Anonymous said...

It always gets me that people think that Alicia's hair is real because her mom is white. It don't matter how much the thickness and length changes from day to day, right in front of your eyes. Even the braids were fake.
-------------------------

I never really thought about it, and will admit she fooled me. I thought the braids were real. And when she pressed it out I thought the legnth was real but perhaps some pieces were added for thickness.

H.C said...

To whoever made that Brandy comment:

Why do you wanna kill me??

ALICIA KEYS said...

ITS OKAY FOR ME TO BE A HOMEWRECKER BUT IT IS NOT OKAY FOR LIL MAMA TO BE A STAGECRASHER CUZ THAT IS JUST FLAT OUT RUDE!

Chry5ta1 said...

Amazing - I will share this post with everyone. No truer a word said.

*standing ovation*

Khalid said...

Can someone tell me the name of the movie Kylie Minogue stole that robot shit from???

Beyonceitis said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metropolis_(film)

-------------------------

Not stole.

She was "inspired".

Beyonceitis said...

Oh, and one more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90Ar_UE5oak

Beyonceitis said...

And thanks to everybody for the comments. I really appreciate it.

MELISSA said...

"If she were any other R&B McChicken..." LMFAO!!!!!!!
THIS IS TRUE THOUGH. I'VE ALWAYS LIKED ALICIA. YES, SHE'S A HOMEWRECKER, BUT THAT'S HER BUSINESS. I WILL STILL SUPPORT HER.

SANDRA ROSE said...

IM AN INSECURE GOBLIN FACE BITCH WHO CANT STOP TALKING ABOUT BEYONCE EVEN THOUGH I KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW SHE GETS TOO MUCH ATTENTION AND PUBLICITY!

renee said...

Thank you again for a well written and insightful post!!
*& many thanks for the comments* LOL

TruthBeTold said...

"close your legs to married men"

DEAD !!! when NeNe was shouting that i almost died chile!

Go NeNe!

RedKnot said...

You are a genius. You should put all of this together, create a book and publish it. I bet it would be a Worldwide Best-seller!!

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